Little by little, day by day.

No combination of 26 different alphabets can ever capture even a sliver of what this feeling is, but it needs to go into the books as a beautiful beautiful memory, so here's your glance into it.

So, It happens like this.

Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and in the middle of that nowhere you meet someone. For some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than you do to anybody else. Little by little, day by day, you grow to love this person more than you love yourself. Steadily, you start to feel that they're the center of your universe. Your happiness, your sorrows, your smiles, your tears, your days, your nights, everything is for them, everything is from them. They embrace your darkest fears and make you smile at odd hours. They're the one that you want to be painfully honest to, no matter how embarrassing it is. They're the only person who will drop everything just to be with you when you need them, no matter what the circumstances. You no more fear the perilous times, because they've always got your back. With them, you just want to let it all out, and breathe, hold them really close on the rooftop at 3 in the morning, kiss them and tell them all about how beautiful life is with them. They make you want to gravitate into a passive world of sweet oblivion where you fulfil all your wildest fantasies.

If you ever feel blessed enough to meet such a person in life, never let them go.

Because you don't just automatically love someone. You slowly learn to place your trust in them, they make you feel wanted, they make you feel loved, they make you want to levitate with all the happiness that you can't contain within yourself, your face hurts from all the smiling, you never want them to let go of your hand because their fingers intertwined with yours silently tell you that you're special to them,  and thats when it hits you, that you aren't delirious with joy for no reason, its love.

You fall in love with them the way you fall asleep, slowly, and then all at once *

They make you realise that "I miss you" is the most beautiful sentence anyone can ever hear from another person, knowing that your presence makes somebody happier. In french, they say "Tu me manques", which means "You're missing from me", and it is a lot more apt, because they become a part of your being.

Love is as scary as it is beautiful. Letting yourself be simply yourself and expecting someone to love that side of you is terrifying. But there is so much to be gained, much more than there is to be lost. Love fills up your heart with a feeling that can only be filled by the sheer simplicity of unconditionally loving someone and being loved in return. Its the little things that make it worth it; the surprise kisses, the warmest hugs, the stolen glances hidden from everybody else.

Being your true self for someone is completely frightening, but the feeling that engulfs you when someone embraces you at your most vulnerable low, is Love.

PS they say never fall in love with writers, they make demons look beautiful, if anyone's reading.

PPS Summer of 2014 will always be special. It is this season that I fell in love with a wonderful person , and somehow, he loves me back too.

*Fault in our stars

Attraversiamo.

Attraversiamo is an italian phrase, that means 'Lets Cross Over'.
A couple years before, I wasn't even acquainted with this supreme world of blogging.
I will not cook up a story as to how I started blogging because I quite frankly do not remember.
But I wrote my very first post for my mother and that was the day I knew that this would become irreplacable for me.

Two years ago, I dreamt of a happy place.
Two years ago, I created a happy place.
And you're in it right now.

My blog turned 2 this June and I can't believe that it still can lift up my spirits when I'm down.
Its a gloomy milestone and I'm just crossing it over. Hope they're many more to come.

PS Title Courtesy - Eat Pray Love.

Getting Published (SpringTide.in)

This might not be as big a news to you as it is to me, but I believe in something different. Everything that happens to us for the first time always deserves a special mention. So, here it is.

SpringTide.in - An online youth magazine decided to publish I am She in their August issue under the column Politically (In)Correct. I'm elated. I got the mail last month but I wanted to break bread here only after it was all packed and done.

What do you think ?

Bundle of Joy [55Fiction #8]

He clenched his fist around her tired finger, a tiny pink bundle and smiled into her pale face. Her hair, wet with sweat, pointed in every possible direction and the maternity gown hung lose from one of her shoulders, yet, she had never felt so beautiful.

She smiled back and whispered, You complete me baby.

***

PS - My sister has been blessed with the cutest baby boy. He is going to be 12 days old today :) Pretty suggestions for his name are most welcome :)

From Bother To Brother.

What would life be without a meager frivolous bickering with your baby-brother every other day ? A little squabble over who gets to keep the warmer of the two blankets ? My day wouldn't be complete. All these years, I've grown up to witness this fact creep under my skin that I love my brother more than I'd ever love anything else.

I went to the city market with my sister today. Two little kids frolicked their way around the multifarious variety of chocolates present there, while their mother roamed about collecting groceries in her red basket. I loved eavesdropping on them. The girl must have been around four and the boy seemed a couple of years elder to her. Her little ponytail swayed with concealed pride and its blue band kept it firmly in place. They looked at those candies and chocolates as if they were to make the decision of their life and one wrong pick would rob the universe of all its happiness. Their eyes were smiling with an argosy of elation. Their manner forced me to think what was wrong with the way I've been brought up ? I've never been turned on by the shine of that naked brown bar. They looked at the chocolates as if they were speaking to them in some other world language that only kids below 10 could comprehend. I felt cheated. Deep Down. Those bars never spoke to me.

But what caught my attention the most was the way that kid took care of his little sister. He was gripping her hand really tight. she even asked him to leave her hand once, he said a few simple words and they went back to their big decision 'I will not come looking for you if you get lost'. She gave an angry shrug and those tiny eyes started searching for her mother. I couldn't help but smile. I tried making small talk by saying hello but all I got in return was 'Papa has told us not to talk to strangers'. I chuckled and went on with my business.

Memories of our old house and my childhood came rushing in. I remember being jealous of my brother just because mom would carry him in her arms more than me. Suddenly one day I was no more the youngest pet, everybody wanted to smother him with kisses and not me. Everyone brought gifts for the new baby because he was cuter. I won't lie, that phase too had a beauty of its own. That little midget has grown up to be a handsome young man who also happens to be my best friend and my most trusted confidante today. I have seen my friends living oblivious to the presence of their younger siblings at home, it aches my heart to see such love lost between them.

My baby-brother :P

Having a sibling is a blessing, sometimes in disguise, of course :P

Make this day a happy one, go and tell yours how much they mean to you :)

Feel Blessed !

3 days back, I woke up to find that my eyes were not their regular classic blend of black and white, they were in fact a much more legendary amalgamation of red, black and white. My pupil looked like the sun of the solar eclipse hurling out red rays.

I rushed towards mom in a haste never known before, for I had the last exam of my B.Tech odyssey, 2 days later, that would qualify me as a software engineer.

I was noways going to let my eyes, ruin it for me. We reached the ophthalmologist in no time, giving in to the exigency of the situation. 

I witnessed something there, that made my heart weep. While I was impatiently waiting for my turn, a young couple entered with their little 4-5 months old daughter.

My own eyes were such a stupid mess that I did not give them any second look. But to my horror, they had not come to get their own eyes treated, they had come for their daughter.

Upon listening this, I took as close a look as I could permit myself staying stuck to my seat. That baby's left pupil was grayish-white. The doctor checked her before me (although they came after me. I wouldn't have appreciated this for anybody else if it wasn't for this baby's eye) and unfortunately I was forced to listen to that conversation. 

Doctor - It's better now.

Mother (her face lit with hope) - will she be alright ?

Doctor - I cant say that right away. As of now, carry on with the same medicines. 

Mother - Can she see from this eye ?

Doctor - No, not yet. But I can assure you, she will, someday. And this mark will stay forever.

Mother (bombed by the news) - Is there nothing we can do to remove the mark ? No surgery ? No operation ?

Doctor - No. No ophthalmologist in this world can cure this. Its like you get a bruise on some part of your body, get it treated well, but still, the mark never leaves. 

Mother (almost in tears) - when should we come next ?

Doctor (With the same straight face throughout) - Come next Friday and increase the dosage of these drops to 3 times a day.

I almost had a tear or two flooding my eyes, thanks to that little infection I had bored, nobody noticed.

Neither did they choose their poverty, nor did you choose your castle.

Help people in all possible ways. It will be your Moment of Bliss.

We complain about broken nails, ill-fitted dresses, bad exams, being over-weight, fat asses, love life trouble and what not but that day, I realized people have problems of a much serious scale and a much bigger magnitude.

My eye infection would have been okay the next morning had I washed them with cold refrigerated water 4-5 times a day but still I visited the doctor.

God divided this world into two concepts- the privileged and the unprivileged.

Most of you reading this fall in the former category and still moan about those petty non-existent things.

My purpose of sharing this incident with you is to tell you to feel privileged and blessed. Help, Pray and be Thankful. God has been very grateful to you, you owe him this lovely life of yours.

I pray for that little baby and expect you also to take some time out for her and talk God into curing her completely.

This post was written somewhere in June 2011 and I had just begun to write back then. My eyes were a little bad this morning and I got reminded of that baby. And because I have a decent sweet number of readers now, I'm re-posting it. I want more people to realize life's fair to us and its just a matter of realization.


Have a good day :)

My Sweet Nothings

I so adore making lists :) Here I come up with another one :) Certain very beautiful little instances of my life have been enlisted here and I'd so re-read this when I grow old, become a toothless granny and laugh my lungs out at how crazy I was :D

1. I love the strawberry fragrance of my new soft wash. It's so fruity and vibrant. Makes me feel like a fat strawberry fresh out of the green. LOL :D

2. When I'm bored studying, I love making weird patterns on the bed sheet ( I make good contrasts, I have pens in all colors ) and on the pajamas I'm wearing.
The look on mom's face is worth capturing when she sees them. :P

3. I love the feeling that hungry version of me experiences when I see my food arriving at a restaurant.

4. I absolutely adore the blue family. Aqua, Royal blue, Sea blue, Sky blue. Love'em all.

5. I love it when my mom sends me and my brother a text everynight saying 'I love you both, gudnite beta', although it takes her an eternity to write through her qwerty keypad, she does it for us.
I'm proud, I taught her how to text :)

6. I love to apologize without saying sorry.

7. I love it when I find people doing the same wierd things that I do.

8. I love it when after a long winter day, I get into my oh-so-cozy bed and my quilt takes time to move from cold to warm to more warm. That warmth makes it all worthwhile.

9. I love 'How I met your mother'. I feel so so so connected. I cried when Marshall lost his father.

10. I love the simplicity and neatness of cartoon character's lives. I used to read comic books when I was a kid and more than the story, the environment interested me. Any damn colored walls, clean neat simple homes, little windows, everything so cute and proper. (Yea, you guessed it right, I'm an obsessesive Virgo) :P

11. I love receiving instant replies to texts sent after 2 AM.

12. One new message on Facebook makes me much more happier than 10 new notifications.

13. When idleness leaves me with no choice, I love to paint pretty pictures on my nails :)

This picture came out as a result of my exam anxiety :P

14. I love the cold side of the pillow.

15. I love completing a task before the microwave beeps.

16. I love to try going back to sleep hoping to complete my incomplete dream.

17. I absolutely love to surprisingly find money that I don't know of in my jeans pocket.

18. I love balancing a light switch and then celebrate my little success with myself :)

19. This is one thing that does not happen but I'd love it if it ever does. I wish to receive letters from my friends. Not the ones they hand over to me themselves but the ones that are actually posted. The ones that have little drawings of hearts and flowers and stuff on the borders. :D Huh !! stupid cellphones and low call rate plans. Letters are extinct.

20. I love the sight and sound and feel and touch of the rain.

21. I totally love the tininess of baby clothes and other articles. My nephew and my neice give me tonnes of happiness by being so little and crazy :) !

22. I love falling asleep on a couch and waking up with a blanket on me. Mom Mom Mom. Can I ever love you more ?

23. Damn you Steve Jobs, You've made me fall in love with a gadget. I adore my iPhone like bees adore honey. I used to loathe touch screens and now my fingers try to flee off my hand when they see a keypad.

P.S. when is the next one coming out ?

24. I know 24 is a weird number to end this list but no censoring and no extra footage to anything that hasn't earned to be here.

- I love to smile when I send you a smiley. Sending an emotion and not an emoticon is the sweetest thing life taught me. :) (Yes, I did smile).

Have a pretty day :) !

Hugs :*