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Little Moments Of Bliss is a silhouette of a feeling that resides in my heart. A software engineer by degree, a writer at heart, and a teacher by profession, I'm all that I never thought I would be. Pretty pictures,a poem that blatantly refuses to rhyme, a text from a deranged friend, a sudden gesture of love, its these little things in life, that matter and sprinkle bliss. Grace the couch and share a cuppa!

December 27, 2012

If only, she would abort her girl child to protect her from rape..


Unwanted as a baby, insulted as a girl, raped as a woman and silenced as a lady. When did our definition of a woman undergo such a sea of changes ?  Expected to give up her career to raise a family and complete all her chores on time, never asked for an opinion, not allowed to enter the temple in her periods as if it is something she does against God's wishes, dutifully provide the family with healthy sons that grow up to be as insensitive as the others, beaten, burnt and raped. When did we lose our humanity and fell so low that we stopped respecting and started raping the womb that gave us birth ? Many of you might be offended by the title of this post, but I stand by it with all my courage. I would be least surprised if a pregnant woman decides not to have a girl child for the fear of what happened to a 23-year old student in Delhi. Being her age, I can't imagine the trauma that she must be going through.

The media is hungry for that one sensational byte, one statement from the family, one more picture! They manage to ignite a protest, start support groups online, abuse the accused on social networks. But what good does it bring to the victim ? She has become the talk of the nation, but how is it helping her ? Not long ago, a girl from North East India was publicly molested and beaten. The case became viral on Youtube overnight. Banners were hanged, posters were painted. What good came out of it, still manages to stay a mystery. A german woman was raped and murdered in Goa last year and instead of justice, advice was served. Tourists were asked to dress and behave according to the Indian customs while they were in India.

"Protest infront of India Gate, 22nd Dec, show your support". I received this text a few days back, asking me to show my support for the gangrape victim. Many of my friends swore that they wouldn't miss it for the world. Although it did make me think, were they excited because they thought it was cool that they were protesting for a cause for the first time ? or were they angry because an innocent 23-year old was gangraped and thrown out of a moving bus ? 'All the female politicians must be raped', this filth also made it to every youngster's phone, as if the recent happenings weren't disgusting enough. Just this morning, I was informed that the punjabi rockstar Honey Singh has composed a song on the victim, depicting his rage and suppressed anger. All I felt upon hearing it, was humiliation and shame. An obnoxious Bollywood star saw this as an opportunity of promoting his latest movie. The opposition sees it as a means of initiating a political riot. 

What fears me the most is that have we started taking pleasure in the victim's misery or do we enjoy the blame-game ? Some blame the accused, others blame the city altogether.

The main accused, Ram Singh, the bus driver, said that he only did this because his friends thought he was not man enough to have sex with a woman. How does forcing yourself on a woman prove your manhood ? How does that third leg give them the advantage of being superior over women ? Of all the rape case accused that are arrested, almost 70% accept that they did this to show her "her real place". But then, how does forcefully inserting your penis into a vulnerable woman's vagina do that ?

The body, the scars, they all might heal, but will the soul ever heal ? I myself live in a conservative North Indian Punjabi family. I'm not allowed to leave my house alone after 6 in the evening. Even if I have to got to the nearby chemist, I take my brother along. It never makes sense to me, but I do the needful to ease out my parents' worry. But what if a gang of six decide they want to rape me, will my brother be able to protect me ? You see ? right there, something is wrong at the bottom of it all.  

The current maximum penalty in rape cases in India is life imprisonment. Officials say that death sentence has been put on the table and it might be served in extreme rape cases. What I want to know is that, what will be the criteria of deciding which case is an extreme and which isn't.

Is a woman raped by one man for ten minutes any less haunted than a woman gangraped by 6 men for an hour ?


This post is my not-so-poignant ode to the dying human spirit.

37 comments:

  1. I agree with everything that you just said. It feels like nothing is happening to address the underlying problem, instead punishments are being increased. But does that really help? Do the rapists think about the consequences of their actions while they carry out the disgusting act?

    Keeping in mind the corrupted authorities of India, most rapes just slip away, and the girl is silenced. The real problem is that women aren't given an equal position in society, and neither are they given the respect they need. If we can't fix today, the least we can do it fix tomorrow. Teach the future generation to respect women, and how to have sex safely and respectfully.

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  2. a touching and hard hitting post ---every word says a lot

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  3. Agree with every single word, sadly. This whole thing has been made into some sort of scene and everyone here is trying to capture as much share of the attention pie as possible. Some youths want to show how cool and aware they are, opposition want to show how lawless the current govt is, and the current govt, I don't know what they are doing.
    We all are forgetting the main issue; which doesn't just relate to this single case. There have been many before and if careful steps are not taken, there will be many again.
    Glad you wrote it without censoring any of your thoughts!

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  4. A very brave and blunt post Ayushi. Appreciate you for the same.
    Wish to share my views with you on the same issue. Read on:

    http://manavlalotra.com/delhi-case-who-are-we-protesting-against/

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  5. This is so terrifying. And yes, all media wants is a story to spice things up and the incident would be forgotten as soon as media finds another spicy story. May God protect us all, that's all we can hope for in such alarming conditions.

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  6. Very True and a hard reality. :/

    @Topic : My question is why should women be afraid? Afraid of the future that some assholes would harass her or even rape?

    A lot has to be changed to make that happen, to make women safe so that they can do whatever they like and also wear whatever they like. I am just sad and feel totally ashamed for my helplessness. :[

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  7. Completely agree with your words. Please read my views on http://jeevankuruvilla.blogspot.in/2012/12/much-beyond-rape.html

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  8. Ayushi, the whole episode not the first one, is so shameful! Also, being a girl of the same age as the victim the anguish of living in such a depraved society is very genuine. This is a wake up call for Indians before we stoop any lower!!

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  9. Well-written. Like you said, nobody knows what is the solution. Everyone knows what the problem is, though! And until there is someone with a really smart solution to this, all we can do is ramble on and write blogposts (no offence - I did write one too) and songs and light candles and pray!

    But nobody does have a solution to this, do they?

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    Replies
    1. there is no smart solution to this problem, the only way is to not only raise awaress and start repecting each other as people and being "man" enough to fight for our convictions and beliefs.

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  10. I fully agree with your title. I was never in favor of all these laws against female foeticide and sex determination. Though I am not a girl, if things were other way round and male foeticide was in vogue, I would rather not be born to parents who do not want me but having me just because the government has forced them to have me. And the reasons parents do not want a girl at the root is possibly all these things you mention. If society was not discriminating, parents will see no difference and there will be not motive for female foeticide even if law allowed it. Actually people may even prefer girls because in general given equal opportunities, girls are more likely to care for parents than guys.

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  11. I really appreciate this. India has become such a shameful place to live. The mindset of every man has always been to enforce himself on a woman. It is really not done for men and especially politicians to comment loosely. The recent comment by Mr President Pranab Mukherjee's son shows the extent of malaise.

    If only every woman herself stood up against all forces and if every son was taught to respect a woman. However these are idle dreams. Its a pessimistic view but so very true.

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  12. Hi Ayushi,

    Quite true, the current state of women in India is apologetic, to say the least. It seems our society needs moral cleansing from the childhood days itself, respect needs to be ingrained in children since the time they start walking. Self defense techniques are also advisable for women so that they can atleast handle the lone molester when the need arises. Good post. Keep posting.
    Following you now.

    Regards

    Jay
    My Blog | My FB Page

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  13. Ayushi well written. Blunt and bold.

    http;//winningtrades1.com

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  14. Oh hard hitting .. Agree with every word you say.. I am not sure what to say

    Bikram's

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  15. Totally agree with you. Her life can never be the same again. Our so called society is not going to let her overcome her trauma.:|

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  16. Raise your daughter to a princes who wudn think twice to use a sword against any inhuman monster. I wish for a daughter and I am gona raise her like that.

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  17. Good Stuff!
    Also, let's STOP being hypocrites and STOP electing Rape-accused to parliament!

    http://www.wahsarkar.com/2012/12/why-do-we-elect-rape-accused-to-parliament/

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  18. what a write up . It has brought tears .

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  19. i second you on every word, every thought, every thing you've said

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  20. You are right!!! What do they mean by extreme rape case??!!! Rape by it self is an extreme injustice to women and we mean to give them justice only when the rpe is extreme. Do these people who serve justice...who are mostly men even know how rape feels like??? Its a sad plight we live in. Dont we dare call our nation as mother India because some scoundral out there will think that its befitting to rape her as well

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  21. Hard-hitting truth..
    Every word is complete truth. I so agree to your views. We need to find a solution and not just go on with candles, protests, fb status's, change in dp's of fb. Sadly, In India every event turns out to be a publicity and 'coolness' stunt.

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  22. When the braveheart can be sent to Singapore for treatment, when not send the 6 animals to Saudi Arabia for "better" treatment @ Chop Chop Square ? Instant treatment , you see ..

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  23. I agree with every word written here. As a woman, I am afraid of giving birth to a girl child post the Delhi incident.

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  24. Something is definitely wrong with the picture -- the blaming of the girl for being the victim.

    In a country where half the population is unsafe and discriminated against, there can be no peace or prosperity.

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  25. there's a sea of fear that I see in the women around me....be it my friends or my mother or sister..it is paralysing and crippling...

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  26. Interesting post, debatable on a few points and I agree to some. As a woman I would not like to be made a public figure out of pity but then if media doesn't take my side then the case would die a natural death. Both ways it is lose-lose for the girl. Cause that is the way our society is, like you said, takes pleasure in showing-off their manhood. Shame on them all.

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  27. a post that touches the heart......

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  28. // Honey Singh has composed a song on the victim, depicting his rage and suppressed anger. All I felt upon hearing it, was humiliation and shame. An obnoxious Bollywood star saw this as an opportunity of promoting his latest movie. The opposition sees it as a means of initiating a political riot. //

    Your emotions have just flown throughout the entire post and it seriously shakes every person who is reading this post by their collar. Good.

    Do visit my blog! Would love to see you by! *cheers*

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  29. Ayushi,
    loved your post. I agree with the sentiments expressed you. I wrote something on the topic, check it out. It says some of the stuff that you've said
    http://justanotherwakeupcall.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/ten-reasons-why-its-alright-to-rape-you-a-handy-guide-for-rape-victims-in-india/

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  30. Words that strike a chord deep in the heart ... Well written ...

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  31. You are a FANTASTIC writer. Admirable! Been following you for some time now and must I say, I am addicted to the blog now. Great going!
    http://bloggingthemind.blogspot.in/

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  32. A very good post- depicts the true thought in every girl's mind.
    Lets hope for a safe future.
    thefadingdarkness.blogspot.in
    It's a new formed blog of mine, on these crimes against women.
    Do follow it if you like it.

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  33. I think, perhaps, there is both - a bit of self consciousness and anger. I think the former will fade as we face the harsh truth that the problem is huge in our country and it won't be solved with one protest march. Hopefully, the latter won't. Getting together with others in unity is a good way to give the police and politicians who haven't been exactly supportive until now, a strong message. Hope, for their own safety or for the safety of their women, people don't let up on the pressure they've been exerting together.

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  34. Agree with you completely. I want the world to make it a better place for my daughter and all the others like her. There is so much to do - punishments and example of course, to create a few - but also awareness - men need to know.

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