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Little Moments Of Bliss is a silhouette of a feeling that resides in my heart. A software engineer by degree, a writer at heart, and a teacher by profession, I'm all that I never thought I would be. Pretty pictures,a poem that blatantly refuses to rhyme, a text from a deranged friend, a sudden gesture of love, its these little things in life, that matter and sprinkle bliss. Grace the couch and share a cuppa!

February 7, 2012

Closure


She could not operate machines. Not then. Not now. She always alleged Technology eats away the little joys that make me happy. Squinting into the wide screen with eye brows meeting in the middle and typing around the haphazard arrangement of alphabets gave her liquid pain across her cheeks and an acute sting in her skull.  She preferred pens, ink pens, for their sheer simplicity and beauty. She loved filling them with ink when they ran out of it.

She took out her aged diary, dotted with tiny speckles of her daughter's mischief, picked up her pen and started doodling little hearts in red ink at the torn corners of the page. It brought back memories. Memories of happier times. Memories of innocent smiles. Memories of him, and them. One abstract thought, and she tore the page off. That painting hung in her living room for a very long time now but ironically it was a metaphor today. The sky had stopped pouring. The dew drops wanted to fall off the frail stem, demanded closure, but something kept them desperately dangling.

A tear fell, hot as acid, and scarred the flimsy white.

Nostalgia won. Again.

She wrote. And then, some more.

She could not find it in her heart to forgive him for dying on her. She felt cheated. He promised to grow old with her and watch bad TV throughout the day's length. Why did he have to break it ? Time moved too fast for her to keep up with its pace. They said it'll be painful for a few months and then her life would adapt itself to this subtle change. Why hadn't her pain subsided ? Four long, wistful years had rolled by. Hadn't she suffered enough ? These questions itched her fate and she couldn't scratch it. Once again, there were no answers. She didn't know what to feel anymore. It was a tiring task. Right and wrong agreed with each other. Her face broke into infrequent tremors of grief, pain and wishful longing.

She too needed closure and somehow it hid itself well.

A sudden squeak of wood against the floorboards and a barely audible thud. Her husband was home. She could hear him hang his trench coat behind the door. She had been a faithful, loving wife to her husband all these years yet somehow she cursed herself for betrayal, a part of her cried for a different destiny, mourned the irreparable loss, everyday.

She got up and hid the brown diary back into its place.  

58 comments:

  1. The first part of it reminds me of a Nicholas Sparks novel in general. i love how wonderfully you've described the pain. But sometimes it never goes away, love is that strong! Totally loved this.

    xoxo
    Sonshu
    sonshus.blogspot.com

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  2. wah.. Touchy one :(
    Gives a feel :)
    great work !

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  3. We die once but few memories kill everyday. Beautifully written.

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  4. You got me carried away with this writing! I can see a promising writer yawning to rise! Very nice composition:)

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    Replies
    1. Rahul Sir, As always, your comment made me so happy :)
      Thank You.

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  5. Its so touching...However, You are just one step away from this $100 Giveaway :)

    Enter Boticca.com giveaway and win $100
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  6. amazingly beautiful, short and yet leaves such impact!

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    Replies
    1. Long write-ups that take up time and make no sense aren't what appeals me :)
      Thank You :)

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  7. Thought provoking piece indeed. Very well written.

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  8. Nostalgic. The sheer mention of the ink pen gives it a class. Very thoughtfully written.

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    1. Thank You DB :)
      When I started using pens, I was handed an ink pen at first :)

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  9. Your best so far..in the way it unfolded. And you captured the mood of the story beautifully. :)

    Keep 'em coming, young lady.

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you liked it :)
      and yes, I'll keep'em coming :)

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  10. very painful space to be in! no wonder four years or even four minutes would seem like eternity if one were in a situation like hers and when i read the lines "the husband" it just gave a whole new dimension to the internal suffering

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    1. Sujatha, indeed it is a very painful space to be in.
      Glad you understood and felt what I wrote.

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  11. OMG you are a magician girl <3
    I feel I might the samw way....someday....sigh
    This was just too beautiful...im speechless

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    Replies
    1. Thank You sweetheart and I'd rather you not feel this way ever in your life.

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  12. WOW... this post i can relate to so closely... i literally almost got goosebumps!!! Very nicely written with a beautiful choice of words...
    Cheers... :)

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  13. Found your blog through Indiblogger...you write so well...lovely!

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  14. That is one awesome piece of writing. The usage of words, the painful emotions behind them. Loved it. :)

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  15. Hey! =) you are a very good writer. I really imagined the situation. Great work ^.^

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  16. wow it was written beautifully..I am touched with the message behind the story..excellent piece ;)

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  17. This actually sounds a bit like a Nicholas Sparks novel =O I LOVE it!

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    Replies
    1. that is the second one I got for this piece.
      Its flattering :)
      Thank You.

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  18. Sometimes, no matter how long you wait, it never seems to be enough.

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    Replies
    1. Never Ever. Closure wishes you to pay a heavy price.

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  19. I was so carried away reading this. Wonderfully written :-). The impact of love is everlasting, specially if it is beyond our reach!

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  20. Loved it..!! Beautifully composed. You are so good at writing. Engineering was a wrong choice ayu :P
    :*

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  21. Time heals the pain, but the memories..they never leave. The nostalgia hits us, again and again.
    Very well written. It was amazing :)

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  22. Pain, reduces sometimes, when shared. :)
    Perhaps, she should have done it long time ago.

    Nice read.


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  23. 'a part of her cried for a different destiny'- The choices of words is admirable! Its a true reflection of many hearts.

    Sharing a part of my blog name feels more connected :) Will come here often.

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  24. For a moment I thought this was a ghost story! She is mourning his loss and he gets back home? Took some time to realize what it was all about. My bad, really. Habit, you see. Should really cut down on thrillers.
    Either ways, you really know how to play with words, don't you? Narrative is so clean and lucid. Thoroughly enjoyed. :)

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Scribble some love !