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Little Moments Of Bliss is a silhouette of a feeling that resides in my heart. A software engineer by degree, a writer at heart, and a teacher by profession, I'm all that I never thought I would be. Pretty pictures,a poem that blatantly refuses to rhyme, a text from a deranged friend, a sudden gesture of love, its these little things in life, that matter and sprinkle bliss. Grace the couch and share a cuppa!

April 1, 2012

Sculpting a Shadow.

There are times, when you fall for somebody's talent, so deeply and so intensely, that you're never sure what to say when asked 'Why do you like them so much ?'

Sameera at Life in a Jiffy is one such person for me. She is a balanced writer and a beautiful human being. She is getting married to a lovely young man on 28th July 2012. Shower her with all your best wishes and lots of love. Just like me, Sam too was a little skeptical about guest posts, but I'm so glad that my first one is from her pen.

Thank You Sam :)




The air was still. The floor polishers, hammers, saws and drills that groaned throughout the day rested silently like tired young children who had played longer than what they could endure. The wooden support structure that served the purpose of enabling movement up and down the partially constructed building creaked as I bent forward. About three storeys high, I was inclined at an impossible angle.  Achieving it by resting my hands alternatively on the wall each time I scraped out the extra cement on the wall. My eyes squinted in the flickering light to observe the protruding portions of the wall. My hand followed the vision and a subconscious nod titled my head as my fingers felt the asymmetry of the surface. With a tiny metal piece that was strapped with sand paper on either side I started my chore. Blowing away the chipped off excess cement in a practiced manner after every screeching stoke made on the wall- yes that was my job.

It is thrilling to know that a slight imbalance could cause my body to be converted into mashed red lump on the ground way below and liberate my soul? I carefully shift my feet to the next portion of the wall.  I pass a window in between. Too early for its glass to be fit, but I see a faint reflection on it. My black hair appears grey with dust and rough carelessly grown stubble gives me a rather grotesque look. Big white eyes bulge out of skull as I stare at my own reflection.  I think that’s what happens to most of the boys when they become men, built bit by bit into a figure which is an accumulation of fragments of dying hope and rumble of dreams.

I dare not think of the dream with which I had left my village, my home and my people at fifteen. Three Rupees tucked in the inner pocket of my underwear; I had the world to take over. I starved, I crumbled, I stole…I regretted and corrected. But, I never cried. It was the dreams and the hope that kept me from weeping. You know that hop in my walk and belief in my mind that tomorrow I will be big man?  That was that tender age when I had the fate in the grip of my fist and hope in my heart.  I smile and brush away those memories and gaze back at my reflection one last time before I slide ahead.  I start grinding the sandpaper on the wall. I don’t realise my movements are faster and the pressure of the rub is greater till my hand aches. I don’t want to pause. I don’t want to think.

But my mind walks through a boulevard of dreams abandoned dreams. “Amma I opened a small puncture repair shop today.” That was the first call I had made home in the two years that I had been away. No response was received from the other end just faint sobs of joy and sadness - joy for having heard from me and sadness because, perhaps she knew what I didn’t know back then. I never called her back apart from a drunken call in which I just wet my eyes but didn’t speak a word. It was the day my shop was rolled over so that the road could be widened. Not a word of warning or hint was given. I just came one early morning to find my assets broken. Worse I had to pay for customer’s cycle that got damaged in the event. My little margins accumulated over time vanished into thin air leaving me with nothing but just three rupees like three years ago.

Failures followed chipping off my zeal to fulfil my dreams little by little and I stood near the labour market as the last resort to earn money. Pick me up for any work I’ll do it. I just didn’t want to go back home to the faces that would mock me, “Didn’t we tell you, it will be a waste. City Boy eh? Big man…? You should have tilled fields here, married a girl and taken care of your parents.”  I wanted more than that and when I chased it, it left me with nothing? Life is unfair. “Will you work in construction, Rs.100 per day?” I nodded, my head had jumped into a truck occupied by many men, women and children.  Over the years I shifted from cement mixing, laying bricks, and painting walls to anything and everything that makes a building.  I have lost the track of time three, four I can’t tell how many years have passed.

Phoo, phoo, I blow of the scraped cement and bring my mind to the present. I catch my own shadow on the wall I sculpt to make it smooth. Shadow-a black contour of man, a faceless, unidentified man.  I continue to grind on the surface, slowly – meticulous, smoothing my hard memories with the action and fading away into the night sculpting the dreams of what that man in the shadow could be. Hope, I guess it still resides in me somewhere.

The End

Written as a part of Captured Writings.

21 comments:

  1. Beautifully told.

    P.S. Provide the link to her blog.

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  2. Very moving story !Life is so tough for some people...we forget this & often wail about small discomforts.

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  3. Even if things don't work out how you want, just don't give up, keep going, and stay true to yourself.

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  4. My God..she's the kind of writer that I love to read :) and this piece is soooo real..loved the way she describe every single observation and at the same keep the readers hooked till the end...

    As for the story,Its mind blowing..

    Now following her blog..yayieee :)

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  5. Got it, got it. Had missed it somehow.

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  6. It was like reading a page straight out of a book called life with million stories unread untold, dreams scattered .. Loved it !

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  7. What a wonderful story love this very thought provoking and moving

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  8. Loved it! Been following Sameera's blog for long now. She writes with such effortless ease, I really like her way with thoughts and words!

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  9. Heart wrenching story, very effortlessly narrated!Best wishes for the forthcoming marriage and all the happiness:)

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  10. Wow.. thank you for sharing it with us! :)

    And btw, nice profile picture!!

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  11. Thank you so much!! I feel honored to be writing for your blog. :)

    Thanks everybody for the kind comments. :D

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  12. a thought provoking story.. very well done!!!

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  13. wow..!
    1stly congratulations SAMEERA.
    2ndly from the title to the story to the comma and full stop you were awesome awesome and awesome
    each little tiny minuscule detail is captured with such intensity that it is hard not to notice and appreciate even the most trivial things..!
    hats off.1
    tc

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  14. Loved the narration.Its sad but thats the part of life for people who do not have much in their life.Life full of struggle and disappointment but yet they dream.They chase their dreams only to know that life is full of struggle

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  15. Hello to my favorite blogger :D :). I have a small award for you :D :). http://sweetsomethingz.blogspot.in/2012/04/awesomeness-personified.html

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  16. Life is so difficult. And for some, all they can do is dream. It's so sad to see such people struggle. This was a great post! I loved every bit of it :)

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  17. beautiful narration! loved it..

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  18. Hy sweetie! love your blog! wanna follow each other?:X

    FashionSpot.ro

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  19. Wonder how can one get into an unknown person so deep. I can just say 'wow' to the narration & the reality in this story.

    Hearty wishes to sameera for her wedding. God bless the couple with happiness.

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  20. just happened to come across your blog..loved the way you wrote! nice! :)

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