Little by little, day by day.

No combination of 26 different alphabets can ever capture even a sliver of what this feeling is, but it needs to go into the books as a beautiful beautiful memory, so here's your glance into it.

So, It happens like this.

Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and in the middle of that nowhere you meet someone. For some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than you do to anybody else. Little by little, day by day, you grow to love this person more than you love yourself. Steadily, you start to feel that they're the center of your universe. Your happiness, your sorrows, your smiles, your tears, your days, your nights, everything is for them, everything is from them. They embrace your darkest fears and make you smile at odd hours. They're the one that you want to be painfully honest to, no matter how embarrassing it is. They're the only person who will drop everything just to be with you when you need them, no matter what the circumstances. You no more fear the perilous times, because they've always got your back. With them, you just want to let it all out, and breathe, hold them really close on the rooftop at 3 in the morning, kiss them and tell them all about how beautiful life is with them. They make you want to gravitate into a passive world of sweet oblivion where you fulfil all your wildest fantasies.

If you ever feel blessed enough to meet such a person in life, never let them go.

Because you don't just automatically love someone. You slowly learn to place your trust in them, they make you feel wanted, they make you feel loved, they make you want to levitate with all the happiness that you can't contain within yourself, your face hurts from all the smiling, you never want them to let go of your hand because their fingers intertwined with yours silently tell you that you're special to them,  and thats when it hits you, that you aren't delirious with joy for no reason, its love.

You fall in love with them the way you fall asleep, slowly, and then all at once *

They make you realise that "I miss you" is the most beautiful sentence anyone can ever hear from another person, knowing that your presence makes somebody happier. In french, they say "Tu me manques", which means "You're missing from me", and it is a lot more apt, because they become a part of your being.

Love is as scary as it is beautiful. Letting yourself be simply yourself and expecting someone to love that side of you is terrifying. But there is so much to be gained, much more than there is to be lost. Love fills up your heart with a feeling that can only be filled by the sheer simplicity of unconditionally loving someone and being loved in return. Its the little things that make it worth it; the surprise kisses, the warmest hugs, the stolen glances hidden from everybody else.

Being your true self for someone is completely frightening, but the feeling that engulfs you when someone embraces you at your most vulnerable low, is Love.

PS they say never fall in love with writers, they make demons look beautiful, if anyone's reading.

PPS Summer of 2014 will always be special. It is this season that I fell in love with a wonderful person , and somehow, he loves me back too.

*Fault in our stars

HandMade by Carousel

A very dear friend of mine, Twisha of OneLife.ManyMoments has dared to live her dream. And I want to help her realize how great it is.
Its the first step.
And all great things start with that one little step.
Visit her Facebook Page and have a look at all the quaint little things she hand picks.
Its like weaving magic into your home decor.

She is simply looking for beauty - the kind that can't be explained - only felt.

I got this box customized for my sunglasses :) Can you spot mine and my blog's name in the doodle ? ;) Quirky, ain't it :)

By now, I'm sure you're dying to know from where to shop.

http://carousel-1415.itshandmade.in/

there you go :)

Thank me later :)

You know where to find me.

Love.

Coloring it Happy.

In case you still check out this space, I have a confession to make. I would be lying if I'd say I haven't posted anything on my blog recently because I've been busy with work. The truth is that I haven't had any constructive ideas since quite some time now and I promised myself a few weeks ago, that I wouldn't post anything that does not satiate the creative worm residing inside of me. I did not want to slide down the bar that I had apparently set for myself through my work on this blog, or maybe its all inside my mind. Also, publishing a post just because I haven't written in a long time didn't make sense to me. But, what the heck, here's a quick update.

I've been teaching! for 4 months now. This news has proudly made its way into my blog because teaching was never even been the last thing on my to-do list. As a child, every girl when asked 'What would you like to become when you grow up ?' often answered, 'Teeeaaaacheerr'. But never me. I always said 'I don't know about that, what I do know is that I'd definitely be an MBA someday.' I liked how the degree sounded sophisticated without making much effort. Well, its an unfulfilled dream as of now but more on that later. Back when I joined the school, I literally loathed every minute of it. I was this miserable little kitten who always wore a smile because she was too pompous to let her colleagues gather any tid-bits about her sob story and that those nauseatingly happy students shouting at the top of their voices gave birth to a sharp throbbing in her head.

My first salary check arrived sooner that expected, but unlike what I thought, it did not make much difference. None of my fellow teachers are my age, they're all married and settled, but the glad part is the gossip. They gossip about everything under the sun, from sex to scum, all of it. You might think this story ends with me confessing my undying love for God's little angels, but it doesn't. They still have the power to make me want to strangulate myself at any minute of the day by shouting their lungs out. The only thing that has changed is that I no more think that doing something I don't entirely love doing is the worst thing that could have happened to me. I know, I always end up talking discreetly about my thought-process whenever I do a post like this, but I don't know, maybe its how life functions, or maybe its just how I function. I always have a rendezvous with optimism but only after pessimism has robbed all things happy off of me.

I've been buried neck deep in my pile of unread books and that is helping me a great deal in keeping my sanity safe and secure.
Ah! The things I do, to catch a good read at an odd time.

PS - I know I haven't been replying to your comments lately, my sincerest apologies. I promise I shall be back on track soon. Also, I have an awesome news to share with you all. I, am a happy bird and you, wait until next time. Love.

Chaotic Gleam [55Fiction #6]

The inky sky is a beautiful hazy chaos today. These witty clouds have slyly conspired to send out old unspoken messages  to the universe, basking in their own apparent glory. They look happy and so am I.

For once, I wish the sun wouldn’t peep in, just this once, and then the clouds could rule.

***

PS - Not much of fiction went into writing this.

Happy Valentine's Day

The scent of the sandal incense sticks left no corner of their house untouched by its warmth. It made them feel at home. It made home smell like home. Anushree's elder daughter was dressing up for school while reciting a poem for an inter-school competition, determined to win this time. She packed three loaves of bread and butter for lunch and kissed her good luck. Her husband, no matter how early he woke up, was always late for work. Half eating his breakfast, he rushed to catch the last bus just in time. She waved him a quick goodbye. She always postulated, if a person leaves home with a smile, he comes back with a wider one. Her mother never let her father leave home without a hug which matured into a formal one over the years, yet never was the ritual broken.

Her younger daughter was still in bed. She hugged her in her sleep and tried to cuddle off her morning weariness. Surprisingly enough, she hugged her back. She had named her daughter after her grandmother. She wished her a happy morning in a singsong voice. A couple of minutes later, her little girl got out of bed and switched on the TV. Watching Uncle Scrooge dive into his ocean of coins elated her. Anushree folded her quilt and shouted 'Do I have to tell you to brush your teeth everyday ?'. She scorned her way to the bathroom and lazily scrubbed her teeth. She cleaned herself up and a splash of water removed the last traces of sleep and pillow marks from her face.

Browsing through the channels now and eagerly waiting for her chocolate milk, she came across the new Vodafone ad that claimed to have special caller tunes and greetings for some day that started with a V and had an unexpectedly long spelling. She couldn't pronounce it and blamed the ad for being too small for her to grasp the pronunciation properly. She changed the channel and found the same mention there too. And  then, another one. She baby-stepped into the kitchen and asked Ma about this special day that was supposed to be occurring tomorrow. She wanted to make all the necessary arrangements before her friends, if the said day was so important.

Anushree was bewildered. She hadn't practiced an answer to this question of her influential 9 year old. She wanted to keep her girls away from this day, as far away as possible. She picked her up, made her sit on the kitchen slab and went back to chopping carrots for the mix-vegetables she was cooking for lunch. After a lot of probing and stubborn insistence, Anushree struggled to pick up the right words. 'You know I love your Father, right ?' She nodded in happy approval and smiled. Anushree could spot her missing milk-tooth. 'Well, it is a special day where I let him know that in words'. Her daughter mouthed Ohhh and slid back to the floor. Her frock frolicked with every step she took, apparently in amusement of this newly found special information about tomorrow.

'Where are my oil pastels Ma ?' She demanded with urgent patience. They were kept in the third drawer of her cupboard and Anushree found them for her.

The next morning, Anushree found a red-bordered page peeking out from under her daughter's pillow. It looked like a page from her maths notebook because of the tiny translucent grey squares all over it. She picked it up, it looked like a card with little flowers and leaves sprinkled unevenly all over it. She opened it and her face broke into a million smiles. Very carefully, she shoved it back in and waited for the precious moment when her daughter would give it to her.

The card read -

Happy Special Day, Ma.
I want to let you know in words that I love you very much.


It was the most beautiful Valentine's gift she had anticipated in years.

The Year That Was Gracious

Because I don't do new year resolutions, a post like this was out of question. Writing about how the past 365 days changed your life is no easy task. People came and went, I cried, laughed, cared, loved, envied, desired, bitched, and above all, graduated, feelings grew, I started to write, you appreciated, a lot happened. I don't know why am I putting this in ink but something inside me says I should.

The only thing that hasn't changed is that I still don't feel I'm my age. I can finally drive without knocking somebody out, I can cook without burning myself ( No, that's not completely true ), I drunk my brains out on the last day of college (That is one story you'd never want to hear), L&T sent me my offer letter ( although I couldn't join because of some reason, but them wanting to hire me was reason enough to be ecstatic ), and as I am writing this I'm beginning to comprehend how awesome 2011 was.

I have been a lost lamb since past 6 months and it has made me realize how important is it for me to keep myself busy at all times. And all this free time has given me a better perspective about life and people now, I hope it isn't some sporadic incident, not that I've become preachy and don't enjoy watching 'Enchanted' and 'Aquamarine' now, but still, I can feel that little change in the my left ventricle.

I acknowledge my feelings in a way I've never done before. And I also know, no matter how many new and fun friends I make, the old ones will always stay glued to my heart. Although 2011 did brutally take some away but I don't care about things, people and situations that are beyond my repair mechanism. I've learnt to let go. Yes. I have. And trust me, it is the most peaceful feeling ever. Plus, I don't blame my fiery sunsign for my insane habits now. I now know, its pure me, it always was.

I never knew writing could give me such a high. I've never felt drunk on beatitude ever before. Reverence, is the word, and Now, is the time.

My dear 2011, You were a good kid, I wish your sibling loves me as much as you did, or rather more.

A very Happy New Year to all you beautiful people !



P.S. My two left feet promise to stick around forever, no new year can change that.

My Tangle of Mysterious Prejudice

This post has won the fourth prize in Dove's 'Damage Therapy Range' contest.

They swirl, they twirl, they dance, they entangle his desire - Your hair - don't have them, wear them.

Ask a man 'how would you want your girl to do her hair' and pat comes the reply 'She's at her sexiest when they're messily tied up. I love them like that.'

Hair represent a woman's every mood with equal elegance.

A formal event - you tie them up to compliment your attire.

Cooking - you curl up a bun so that it keeps them from falling.

Wanna cuddle ? - you mess'em up.

Stroll with friends - let them loose and breathe.
*Thinking of a story to blog about - pick up some strands, roll them on your index finger, feel good, pretend like you're in deep thought process and eventually laugh at your own stupidity :D

I never accessorize. I'm not an accessory person. I like to compensate it with my hair. I don't have them, I wear them. I don't have 'the' perfect hair every woman dreams of but they're mine, they demand care from me like its their birth right, and I love them for it.

I give them proper moisturization and believe me, even if you have oily hair, they need some moisture and conditioning.
They serve me loyally in my hour of need and that covers up for their little mischief every now and then. I desperately wish I had a poetic streak somewhere in me because a poem would express me the best right now. Its an itch I cannot scratch. *:D* I scare away couplets, they never wander anywhere near 50 miles of my presence.

When I saw Kangna's curls in Gangster, I fell for them instantly. My hair have been wavy all my life. My want for 'curls-like-the-mad-girl-in-gangster-has' grew and became a need overnight. It demanded my mom's immediate attention. Her naturally curly curls even hid her bad accent and evil acting skills in it, for me, of course :D. It was an incident my mom would never forget. She threw in all kinds of distractions and I don't quite recall which one of them walked its way to glory. Anyhow, I was a kid back then. 2 years ago, a very dear friend of mine, who had the most beautiful hair you could ever want, got her straight locks curled. Before I could aid her 'screaming-for-help' hair, the damage was done. She was born and raised with silk threads on her head and this change threw her into the oh-so-curly 'Kangna' land. A month later, she went into the same salon and got her hair re-bonded, which was double the damage. Although superficially she looked the same as she did with her natural hair, but because I knew the story, I could spot the burnt ends and the irreparable damage.

I swore that very day, never in my life would I torture my hair like that.

Take my word : Do not ever go for curls if you haven't been blessed with them naturally. You will be charged with brutal murder. Of your innocent hair.


I was in a big serious dilemma last month. I had recently joined the gym and my sweaty hair screamed for a bath almost everyday. I couldn't torture them with the regular shampoo everyday so I consulted my homeopathic physician (Yes, I do that often and she's my godmother). I'm not writing the next line because I am going to submit this post on Indiblogger, I cross my heart and swear not to lie :P. She told me to switch to Dove :) She said I could use it even on a 1 year old baby's hair, its that mild. I drove my way to happy hair back home :) I began writing this post because of this sole incident :)

My hair aren't very great, but they're happy and healthy, which is far more important :) They have their regular dose of oiling, spas, conditioning and home remedies (they work like nothing else does) :)

Tangled remains to be my favorite animated movie of all times :) Not exaggerating :D

P.S. I always correct people when they pluralize hair as 'hairs'. It grosses me out a little.

This was my hair story. What's yours ?

Read these and submit yours on Indiblogger here :)

Because life is full of challenging and frustrating moments until the day you eventually find a hair-product that is tailor-made for your hair :) Mine is Dove :)

22 - Older Crankier Grumpier

12.01, Midnight, 15 September 2011

I go into the washroom to change into my night clothes, I come out and witness mom, my sister and my brother lighting the magic candles on my very favorite home-baked pineapple cake. No big surprise, but felt good, extremely good.

It was like the cake was yelling into my face 'Cut me open, I'm yum'.
Suddenly mom realizes my phone isn't ringing, at all, her mind wheels get to work. Is she depressed over something ? Why is her phone switched on her birthday night ? She never does that and she doesn't seem that excited too, What on earth is wrong with my daughter ?

And now, she plans to speak up.

Mom - Why is your phone not ringing ?

Me - Because I've switched it off mumma. carefully eyeing the cake like a vulture eyes its prey :D

Mom - Whhyyyyyyy ?

Me - Just like that, I've never done it you know. I thought of trying :P

Mom - Carefully adjusting herself on the bed, Are you depressed ?

Me - No

Mom - Are you upset ?

Me - No

Mom - Have you fought with someone again ?

Me - No
Mom - Is it me ?
Me - Noo mumma !

Mom- Then why are you not excited ? Its your birthday child ! She lost her patience then.

Me - Because I'm a 22 year old girl now, I should be mature mumma :D and I flashed a teasing grin which meant 'You always say so' :D

Mom - I get it, I get it, But I'm not liking it, Switch your phone on and jibber-jabber as much as you want tonight :)

I blew off the magic candles expecting them to flame up again but they didn't :D :D

The highlight of the rest of the day was Ankita's most unexpected surprise visit :). Was I stunned ? I have never been so pleasantly surprised :)

Has it really been a span of four years ? Seems like last week, I was arguing Dad into loaning me his card 'Its my 18th birthday Papa, I might need more money, Give me your card just this while, Pleaseeee'

He had given in :)

You know, there is something I shouldn't probably share here but I've promised to be my usual-self on my blog and I can't break it, even if it is this lame :D When I was in my teenage years, I used to think I'd never grow up :D, I used to think God has me singularly blessed and he'll always keep me as his special cranky teenager :D No wonder I'm not.

Growing up isn't good, Mom expects some obvious behavior out of her girl in her early twenties, I'm restrained from eating junk because then my oily skin breaks into pits and graves of pimples, something girls can't afford to have. Life needs more meaning, more substance now. Its effing wrong.

'Lollipops turn into cigarettes, the innocent ones turn into mean bitches, homework goes into trash, detention becomes suspension, soda becomes vodka, cycles turn into cars, kisses become sex, you don't get high at the playground anymore, Dad's shoulders are no more the highest peak, protection referred to helmet, race issues were who ran the fastest, the only drug you knew was the cough medicine' - A text from my bff says so.

I've already lost excitement for birthdays( but not for the celebration :D:D ), I wonder whats next.
It was a happy day put together for me. I'll heart and cherish it :)

... And it Rained Again !! Part II

I know I've bugged you a lot here and there when it has rained, kindly try not to hate me for it :P
It has rained 'Elephants and rabbits' ('Cats and dogs' doesn't even begin to cover it) today, all over North India :)
Paper boats are back in vogue ;) My darling brother and his Nikon are BFFs again :)
He's too lazy but I coaxed him into capturing some, and they are his best work.

I had forgotten how to make those, mom remembered :)

Yes, that water was all muddy but I couldn't care less :D

Old ladies hang out here every evening :) I wonder how will they kill time today.

This one held my gaze for the longest time

STAY BLESSED !

Life is Uncertain, Eat Dessert First

Read each picture, they all have something to convey :P

Last three are my favorites and 'Saving the best for the last' is the most adorable cliche :)

My Sweet Nothings

I so adore making lists :) Here I come up with another one :) Certain very beautiful little instances of my life have been enlisted here and I'd so re-read this when I grow old, become a toothless granny and laugh my lungs out at how crazy I was :D

1. I love the strawberry fragrance of my new soft wash. It's so fruity and vibrant. Makes me feel like a fat strawberry fresh out of the green. LOL :D

2. When I'm bored studying, I love making weird patterns on the bed sheet ( I make good contrasts, I have pens in all colors ) and on the pajamas I'm wearing.
The look on mom's face is worth capturing when she sees them. :P

3. I love the feeling that hungry version of me experiences when I see my food arriving at a restaurant.

4. I absolutely adore the blue family. Aqua, Royal blue, Sea blue, Sky blue. Love'em all.

5. I love it when my mom sends me and my brother a text everynight saying 'I love you both, gudnite beta', although it takes her an eternity to write through her qwerty keypad, she does it for us.
I'm proud, I taught her how to text :)

6. I love to apologize without saying sorry.

7. I love it when I find people doing the same wierd things that I do.

8. I love it when after a long winter day, I get into my oh-so-cozy bed and my quilt takes time to move from cold to warm to more warm. That warmth makes it all worthwhile.

9. I love 'How I met your mother'. I feel so so so connected. I cried when Marshall lost his father.

10. I love the simplicity and neatness of cartoon character's lives. I used to read comic books when I was a kid and more than the story, the environment interested me. Any damn colored walls, clean neat simple homes, little windows, everything so cute and proper. (Yea, you guessed it right, I'm an obsessesive Virgo) :P

11. I love receiving instant replies to texts sent after 2 AM.

12. One new message on Facebook makes me much more happier than 10 new notifications.

13. When idleness leaves me with no choice, I love to paint pretty pictures on my nails :)

This picture came out as a result of my exam anxiety :P

14. I love the cold side of the pillow.

15. I love completing a task before the microwave beeps.

16. I love to try going back to sleep hoping to complete my incomplete dream.

17. I absolutely love to surprisingly find money that I don't know of in my jeans pocket.

18. I love balancing a light switch and then celebrate my little success with myself :)

19. This is one thing that does not happen but I'd love it if it ever does. I wish to receive letters from my friends. Not the ones they hand over to me themselves but the ones that are actually posted. The ones that have little drawings of hearts and flowers and stuff on the borders. :D Huh !! stupid cellphones and low call rate plans. Letters are extinct.

20. I love the sight and sound and feel and touch of the rain.

21. I totally love the tininess of baby clothes and other articles. My nephew and my neice give me tonnes of happiness by being so little and crazy :) !

22. I love falling asleep on a couch and waking up with a blanket on me. Mom Mom Mom. Can I ever love you more ?

23. Damn you Steve Jobs, You've made me fall in love with a gadget. I adore my iPhone like bees adore honey. I used to loathe touch screens and now my fingers try to flee off my hand when they see a keypad.

P.S. when is the next one coming out ?

24. I know 24 is a weird number to end this list but no censoring and no extra footage to anything that hasn't earned to be here.

- I love to smile when I send you a smiley. Sending an emotion and not an emoticon is the sweetest thing life taught me. :) (Yes, I did smile).

Have a pretty day :) !

Hugs :*