The Year That Was Gracious

Because I don't do new year resolutions, a post like this was out of question. Writing about how the past 365 days changed your life is no easy task. People came and went, I cried, laughed, cared, loved, envied, desired, bitched, and above all, graduated, feelings grew, I started to write, you appreciated, a lot happened. I don't know why am I putting this in ink but something inside me says I should.

The only thing that hasn't changed is that I still don't feel I'm my age. I can finally drive without knocking somebody out, I can cook without burning myself ( No, that's not completely true ), I drunk my brains out on the last day of college (That is one story you'd never want to hear), L&T sent me my offer letter ( although I couldn't join because of some reason, but them wanting to hire me was reason enough to be ecstatic ), and as I am writing this I'm beginning to comprehend how awesome 2011 was.

I have been a lost lamb since past 6 months and it has made me realize how important is it for me to keep myself busy at all times. And all this free time has given me a better perspective about life and people now, I hope it isn't some sporadic incident, not that I've become preachy and don't enjoy watching 'Enchanted' and 'Aquamarine' now, but still, I can feel that little change in the my left ventricle.

I acknowledge my feelings in a way I've never done before. And I also know, no matter how many new and fun friends I make, the old ones will always stay glued to my heart. Although 2011 did brutally take some away but I don't care about things, people and situations that are beyond my repair mechanism. I've learnt to let go. Yes. I have. And trust me, it is the most peaceful feeling ever. Plus, I don't blame my fiery sunsign for my insane habits now. I now know, its pure me, it always was.

I never knew writing could give me such a high. I've never felt drunk on beatitude ever before. Reverence, is the word, and Now, is the time.

My dear 2011, You were a good kid, I wish your sibling loves me as much as you did, or rather more.

A very Happy New Year to all you beautiful people !



P.S. My two left feet promise to stick around forever, no new year can change that.

The Lambent Afternoon

"That hardly qualifies as consolation" She whined some more.

"Let somebody love you for who you are, not who they want you to be" He spoke with great fervor and the gleaming sun scandalized by throwing in the perfect ambience upon the busy street.

"Maybe its me, maybe I'm a little weird at times." A humorless chuckle decided to punctuate Kate's words.

"No, BECAUSE you're a little weird at times" He pulled her to himself in one quick motion and planted the sweetest kiss on her lips.

Have a Merry Christmas and A Merrier New Year :)

Smile, Giggle And Laugh

Smile. Always had more to it than what the world claimed to know. Sometimes a simple gesture, Sometimes pure, selfish pleasure. The world feels good today. I woke up and there was a smile on my lips. It is a usual day, but there is something extra-ordinarily unsual about it, or is it just me ? I got thinking about how a gesture so little can convey meanings so deep. I'm a simple girl, I don't dream a lot, I don't gaze at stars ( I, as a matter of fact, visit my terrace only when it rains, and I don't understand the concept of gazing at stars), I hate slangs, I adore people who have dimples on their cheeks, the intoxicating baby smell makes me smother them with kisses and eat them up, I'm not random, have never been, but I smile, a lot. Life has been very gracious to me when it comes to looking for reasons to smile and giggle about. They come naturally to me.

A few months back I decided to start writing a blog, journal the not so interesting incidents of my life, give fiction a try and when I published my first post about my mother, I was grinning ear to ear. My blog secretly became my guilty pleasure. Guilty because it is all I do and think about these days. I met a lot of beautiful people here, and I'm amazed at how much talent you all have. Genuinely amazed. I was loved, praised, welcomed with open arms and I reciprocated back with all my heart. But recently things have been a little hazy, words are not coming easy to me. They're making me struggle. I don't think I have it in me anymore. You won't see me posting for a while now. And I suddenly realize maybe that's what the smile was all about. My mind knew it had reached some conclusion :) It just wanted me to comprehend and process it.

I have no idea for better or for worse but I will be back :)

Any bitter-sweet messages you have for me, please please please materialize them into words and send them to me.

And do not forget to Smile, Giggle And Laugh a little more everyday :)

That way I'm leaving a part of me with you :)

XOXO

Frozen Fate

He stroked her beautiful brown tresses with his fidgety fingers. A tremor went through his body but she did not move. The whining fan squeaked to a halt and the only voice in the room died with it. He always knew, silence had more to itself than what met the blinking eye. His throat felt parched, but he was too afraid to leave her side. Something inside him told him she would leave him forever if he so much as moved an inch. He did not want to lose what was left of her. The floor felt frigid and frosty, so did her limp body. He kissed her on her left cheek, kept his empty bottle of misery aside and cradled her to his chest like a new born, petrified that his touch would scar her flawless skin.

Her hair were wet, his hand could feel it, but it didn't feel like water, it felt dark, thick and ugly. He never adored the color red and always thought it signified death, but suddenly, it seemed to have filled his vision. It was blood. Her blood. His stained hand started to tremble. He hurriedly wiped it off her black dress. This is her favorite dress, she will be furious with me when she wakes up. The dizziness was making it hard to keep it together, his head felt unusually heavy, the room was spinning at an alarming rate. The alcohol and coke in his system were waiting to swallow him up like hungry demons. A quick flashback ran inside his head. It came back in bits.

Did...drink today...also...don't you understand...marriage.....no job... future....is the..... limit..cannot...creep...stay anymore...my father was...right......

In broken little steps, he reached his phone, dropped the pistol and dialled 911. "I..I...umm I think, I.....just.....shot my...my..wife"

Yes, I'm trying to send out a message and I expect you to pass it on further. A certain news in today's newspaper itched my scratch to write about people sealing their fates giving in to alcohol and drugs. As they say 'When the wine is in, the wit is out', and the decisions thereafter become synonymous to lifetime regrets.