My Tangle of Mysterious Prejudice

This post has won the fourth prize in Dove's 'Damage Therapy Range' contest.

They swirl, they twirl, they dance, they entangle his desire - Your hair - don't have them, wear them.

Ask a man 'how would you want your girl to do her hair' and pat comes the reply 'She's at her sexiest when they're messily tied up. I love them like that.'

Hair represent a woman's every mood with equal elegance.

A formal event - you tie them up to compliment your attire.

Cooking - you curl up a bun so that it keeps them from falling.

Wanna cuddle ? - you mess'em up.

Stroll with friends - let them loose and breathe.
*Thinking of a story to blog about - pick up some strands, roll them on your index finger, feel good, pretend like you're in deep thought process and eventually laugh at your own stupidity :D

I never accessorize. I'm not an accessory person. I like to compensate it with my hair. I don't have them, I wear them. I don't have 'the' perfect hair every woman dreams of but they're mine, they demand care from me like its their birth right, and I love them for it.

I give them proper moisturization and believe me, even if you have oily hair, they need some moisture and conditioning.
They serve me loyally in my hour of need and that covers up for their little mischief every now and then. I desperately wish I had a poetic streak somewhere in me because a poem would express me the best right now. Its an itch I cannot scratch. *:D* I scare away couplets, they never wander anywhere near 50 miles of my presence.

When I saw Kangna's curls in Gangster, I fell for them instantly. My hair have been wavy all my life. My want for 'curls-like-the-mad-girl-in-gangster-has' grew and became a need overnight. It demanded my mom's immediate attention. Her naturally curly curls even hid her bad accent and evil acting skills in it, for me, of course :D. It was an incident my mom would never forget. She threw in all kinds of distractions and I don't quite recall which one of them walked its way to glory. Anyhow, I was a kid back then. 2 years ago, a very dear friend of mine, who had the most beautiful hair you could ever want, got her straight locks curled. Before I could aid her 'screaming-for-help' hair, the damage was done. She was born and raised with silk threads on her head and this change threw her into the oh-so-curly 'Kangna' land. A month later, she went into the same salon and got her hair re-bonded, which was double the damage. Although superficially she looked the same as she did with her natural hair, but because I knew the story, I could spot the burnt ends and the irreparable damage.

I swore that very day, never in my life would I torture my hair like that.

Take my word : Do not ever go for curls if you haven't been blessed with them naturally. You will be charged with brutal murder. Of your innocent hair.


I was in a big serious dilemma last month. I had recently joined the gym and my sweaty hair screamed for a bath almost everyday. I couldn't torture them with the regular shampoo everyday so I consulted my homeopathic physician (Yes, I do that often and she's my godmother). I'm not writing the next line because I am going to submit this post on Indiblogger, I cross my heart and swear not to lie :P. She told me to switch to Dove :) She said I could use it even on a 1 year old baby's hair, its that mild. I drove my way to happy hair back home :) I began writing this post because of this sole incident :)

My hair aren't very great, but they're happy and healthy, which is far more important :) They have their regular dose of oiling, spas, conditioning and home remedies (they work like nothing else does) :)

Tangled remains to be my favorite animated movie of all times :) Not exaggerating :D

P.S. I always correct people when they pluralize hair as 'hairs'. It grosses me out a little.

This was my hair story. What's yours ?

Read these and submit yours on Indiblogger here :)

Because life is full of challenging and frustrating moments until the day you eventually find a hair-product that is tailor-made for your hair :) Mine is Dove :)

My Chocolaty Festive Spirit

Little Moments Of Bliss :)

There is something so naturally happy about this festive season that you can almost sense it in the air around you, specially in the evening. With Diwali round the corner, mom bribed me into making these chocolates for her guest's kids. Haha, pick up that jaw, I seriously made them and trust me its just a matter of minutes ;) Yes, 'Serendipity is a catch' :P:D Say that out loud and you can have one of those rose lollipops above the 'M' :P You know, the kind of kids that jump at the sight of my yummy looking chocolates, I adore them :) I remember an incident from last year. A kid followed me to our kitchen where I mixed in right proportions of what was needed to make my perfect squash. He thought I was slyly planning on poisoning their drinks :D, he acted like a spy and ran to his granny saying 'Don't drink whatever she's bringing, I saw her mixing some orange liquid in it' :D :D Plus this year, my friends are in for a surprise, I stole Papa's Royal Challenge and made liquor chocolates too.

Although it isn't that difficult and I'm hoping most of you know how to make chocolates at home, still, if you're interested in the 'how' part of it, leave me your e-mail id in the comments and I'll be more than happy to reply. And in return, you have to be my blog's critic. You have to tell me what do you most hate and love about my amateur blog :P The 'hate' part isn't that mandatory though :P And you know you love me, be politely critical :P

A little tip for newbies on blogger, stop leaving comments saying 'Hey, new reader, I'm following, why don't you follow me back ?' It won't take you a long way. Its gross and it gets on to my nerves. Kindly stop doing that. Follow me because you like what I offer, not because you need me to follow you back. I follow a lot of beautiful blogs, not because the writers asked me to, but because I love the way they make the transition from their minds to their pens. Its not about the no. of followers, the no. of comments, its only about 'content'.

I received this comment on my last post.

Deliver content, and acknowledge appreciation. 


That is the mantra.

P.S. No offense to any chocolate lover, but for the record, I personally hate chocolates. They're too brown, too sweet and too dark.

Of the hand that held hers

Ridhima was dead. Sarah had overheard some doctors discuss over how should they break this news to her. She was not able to move any part of her bruised body below her neck. Was the accident so bad ? The grief was too big to acknowledge. She knew she will be alone for the rest of her life. Was it only a few weeks ago when I broke the news to them ? Everything came flooding back to her.

She remembered that day.

***

It was the day. It was finally the day. It was the day Sarah was going to remember for the rest of her life. She had put on her blue pullover because somebody had once told her shades of blue represent peace and calm.

'No, I should probably change into my safe pair of denims' Sarah thought.

A brawl over her short skirt was the last thing Sarah wanted to happen that day.

Her panic was rising with each passing microsecond. She could almost taste bile in her throat. She picked up her phone and called Ridhima for the 50th time. Her network switched to voicemail.

'Where on earth are you R ? You better be on your way to my place. I'm on my way to panic-death here. This isn't just about us now. I need you to grow up and take some responsibility.'

and Sarah disconnected the call. She hadn't realized, her forehead was dripping with sweat. She opened her closet, picked out her white towel that came as a thank you gift from her spa, wiped off all the sweat from her face and took the longest breath of her life, muttering

'They are my parents, they brought me to life, they have to love me, no matter what, its their duty to love me, this isn't a crime, its just the way I'm made, they have to broaden their horizons and grasp what I have to offer this time. its all going to be okay'

and she exhaled from her mouth.

At that second, the doorbell rang. Her heart picked up pace. This better be her. It was her. Sarah's ears picked up traces of warm greetings from the ground floor, her parents seemed to be in the best of their moods. Ridhima climbed up the stairs in a hurry, almost tripped once and finally reached Sarah's room. As soon as she entered, Sarah hugged her. They held each other for a long one and a half minutes, as though trying to dissolve their worries into each other.


My decision is correct, its all worth it, SHES all worth it, I love her, and it is time to stand up for what I believe in.

Sarah's mother's voice broke the embrace, but they were still holding each other. 'Let's do it Sarah' Ridhima said and smiled her disturbingly beautiful smile.

Downstairs, Sarah's father was reading his daily morning newspaper and cribbing about the presence of everything but news in the newspaper, and her mother was busy in the kitchen. Sarah nudged her elbow into Ridhima's ribs and whispered I love them, I don't want to be abandoned, she was close to tears. Even her whisper was hoarse and husky. Ridhima knitted her fingers with hers and squeezed her hand gently. They love you way too much to abandon you. Stop panicking Sarah, I love you, don't ever forget that. Its now or never.


S - Good Morning Dad.
Dad - Good Morning my angels.
S - I want to talk to you Dad.


He folded his newspaper, put down his specs and looked at her daughter. The seriousness in her daughter's voice was alien.

Dad - Sure beta, whatever it is.
R - No uncle, We want to talk to both of you together. Lets wait for aunty to finish with her toasts.


In a minute, Sarah's mom appeared out of kitchen with a dish full of yummy-looking toasts.

Dad - Okay kids, let's eat first, and then I'm all yours, he smiled.
Ridhima - No uncle, it's important.
He looked at them with curious analyzing eyes, his eyebrows meeting in the middle of his forehead, and said Okay.

Sarah - Okay. Dad, I know this is going to come as a shock to you at first but I very desperately need you to understand what I'm about to say now. I am 23 and I don't want you to assume that I'm immature. It isn't a choice. Its what I am. Its how I'm made. I'm happy with life but I cannot survive without your consent. Okay ?
Mom - You're scaring us now. Just tell us. What is it ?
Sarah - Mom, Me and R, we love each other.


Her dad laughed hearing that.


Dad - We know that baby, We know you both are less of friends and more of sisters. And we love you too. Where is the news in this ?
Ridhima - Uncle, you don't understand. Its not the sister-love, its the lover-love. We want to get married.
S's mom ignored the hint, smiled and said 'Oh, Is this about marriage ? Hari, our daughters are grown up ladies now'

Sarah - No mom, You really don't get it or are you just pretending not to acknowledge it ? I love Ridhima and I want to marry her. I'm a lesbian mom. Deep down somewhere, you've always known this. I could sense it.


Silence took over. Sarah's parents stared into thin air. Nobody said another word for the next minute. Finally Ridhima said 'We love each other aunty. It doesn't make us any different. It just makes us brave enough to accept it. We are made this way. Please try to understand'

They both left the room and did not talk to Sarah for 2 days. After 2 days of misery, her dad came to her room and tried to talk her out of it. He wanted Sarah to meet a shrink for a purification ritual and this proposition broke her completely. Her mom wanted her to start with therapy. A week passed, and their house was still filled with an unknown awkward air. After months of endless arguments and discussions, Sarah finally had to leave her parent's house to start a new life with Ridhima. They did not want the society to know about her.

3 days after moving out, Sarah and Ridhima's car met with an accident.

***

The soft blue walls of the hospital filled Sarah's vision. All she knew was that Ridhima was dead. Warm tears flowed down her cheeks and she could not even wipe them off on her own. An eager nurse sprang to help her and asked 'Oh great, you're awake ma'am, do you want me to call anybody ? your family ? you will need their support through all this' 

'No, I'm alone, I don't have a family.'

5 days after the accident, Sarah also joined Ridhima in heaven. Her parents never tried to find out how their daughter was.

I wish people had better understanding of human nature and braced it with open arms. 

The 10 Day 'Me' Challenge - Eight Fears.

With not much happening in my life lately, which implies having nothing much to write about lately, I've resorted to this 10 Day Challenge Posts, not necessarily in order :) I'm giving you a chance to know the chirpy me and forget about the 'Dark & Twisty' me :). The gym pains are gone, I lost some weight :D, I smile more, I actually laugh more :D, Yea, that's my favorite smiley :). I thought I'll leave gym after a month because some of you advised me to, but there is a change of plan :). My gym now offers 4 fish pedicures, 4 steam baths and 4 face spa's plus training plus aerobics, all at just Rs. 1500 per month :) Yes, I am one lucky girl :P I cannot part ways with it. Its awesome. But I still can't touch my toes with my fingers without bending my knees, work in progress :P

1. My people dying on me - I have been watching Grey's Anatomy from quite some time now and it struck me 'accidents happen' and 'people die' (You can't blame me if I'm talking too much about it, the show just doesn't seem to end, its 8th season is on air). 7 years ago, I was woken up at 4am by my mom, she informed me that my sick cousin, who had been fighting for her life since past one month, had died. My parents left in a haste, telling me to lock all doors after they're gone. I did not cry. I was too shocked to cry. I didn't sleep. I made it to the school that day and suddenly in the middle of the assembly I burst out. I cried because I had lost my sister. I cried because I suddenly realized how unfair it was for people to die on their loved ones. We never met much. We weren't that close. We saw each other only on occasions and family get-togethers. But it was a loss. It always will be.

2. Fear of drowning in the SEA - Yea, you read it right. I don't have the fear of drowning in water. I think it might happen in the sea. o_O There is just too much never-ending water in the sea.

3. Are you afraid of the Dark ? - Yes, I am. I am a light person. I love light. Bright shiny light. I can't function in the dark. It scares me to my very bones. Me and my friends visited that setup of a 'Haunted House' once. It was unexpectedly dark. It has almost been an year and I still apologize for digging my nails into D's hands :D.

For the record. D is my best-friend :). The kind that sobers you down when you are down with 9 tequila shots, brings you home, puts you to bed, tells your mom 'Aunty, the sun was too harsh today. She has a very bad head-ache, please don't wake her up until she wakes up on her own' and reassures her a 100 times that she isn't lying :P Only if you get that :P

4. Syringe - When I was a little girl, flu loved me. It paid visits every now and then and this stupid doctor stuck me with injections every time it did. Needles scared me. I used to try and explain mom about how serious this fear was but she thought it was a kid anxiety attack. Then one fine day, God helped :D. The nurse stuck me with an injection and I blacked out on the stretcher :D Mom was hyper-tensed. The doctor pointed out that it was not because of my fever, it was because I was too scared. Mom got a piece of God's mind and swore she would never let me go under a syringe again :D Shes keeping her word even today :D

5. Partner fear - I haven't dated much. It has always been more about friends than it has ever been about a relationship. And in this process, I have surprisingly and innocently created a huge mountain of expectations for my partner to meet. I'm afraid he won't be able to meet them :(

6. Crying infront of another living soul - I am a cry baby but definitely not a console baby. You don't get to console me. I cry. A lot. I cried even when Marshall's father died in HIMYM, I mean who does THAT. I cry when I'm angry, I cry when I'm sad. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I wasn't this fragile earlier. And I have no clue why it happens now. But my biggest fear is letting another person see me cry.

7. Fear of gaining ineffable amount of weight - Why is all the yummy and tasty food hazardous to my health and skin ? Its just beyond me.

8. Running out of stuff to blog about - Okay, now that's a newly developed fear. Since I'm not working or studying for the next 3 months, I'm afraid I might soon run out of stuff to write about. I know I share this bullet with some of you ;). 

It didn't end up being as chirpy as I thought it'd be but its going to get better :)

Have a good night :)

Hugs.

Little Moments Of Bliss

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

3 Apples changed the world. 1st one seduced Eve, 2nd fell on Newton and the 3rd was offered to the world half-bitten by Mr. Jobs.
I woke up to the news of this legend biting the dust at 56. This was more of a shock because I own his half-bitten apple. It still is the kind of news that my mind fails to comprehend. He was a man who looked beyond education, he believed in knowledge and taught the world how to live before you die.
His eaten apple was a turn-on for everybody who ever owned it.
You will always remain an inspiration Steve, God took you away from this world, maybe He needs you to start a new revolution and create iHeaven for him. 
The man left his legacy behind for the world to cherish. May he reach heaven.

The Reason

Life isn't very fair and I haven't bragged anything about it in my blog yet, except of course, the mannequin post. You can handle the pressure, but you can't handle it's overflow, or can you ?

My parents have lived in a joint family all their lives which obviously implies that I have lived in a joint family all my life, and when you have elders, and their elders, over you, your decisions are never your own. They are made for you. Worse case scenario - You are a girl. Your safety is the prime reason of their existence. I'm not complaining. I don't complain. I'm not that kind. But when they don't let you finish what you started, for safety reasons, it hurts, and it hurts bad. They tell me, 'you've never lived alone, how can we let you live alone in a big city like that ? job is not that important' I tell them 'I've never lived alone because you've never let me'.

My college ended 3 months ago and this idleness is killing, literally killing me. I can't look for a new job for next 3 months (due to some family issues again). I haven't been commenting and visiting your blogs much only because they tell me that you are happy and I am not. I'm sorry because you will have to cope up with my sad posts for a little longer. Please do not stop reading me :D Oh, humor, makes me glad. I don't need a gym, but I've joined one to direct my idle negative energies towards my workout, and then I thought, it won't hurt much either. I've received some mails concerning my last post and after reading them, it felt like I am some depressed maniac who needs desperate therapy. It didn't feel very good, which is why I disabled direct comments there. I'd rather say, walk a mile in my shoes and then kick the ball whichever way you want to.

I'd like a special mention to this particular mail that made me smile amidst this all, Musings Of a Troubled Mind sent me a mail saying he misses my write-ups, it felt good, beyond words.

I love my family, I love my father, I like catching him red handed stealing cookies from the kitchen :D (Mom doesn't let him eat them due to his diabetes), I love my mom, shes overprotective and takes too much stress, but that is how mothers are, right ? Mine is no different. Mine is infact more sweet and nice :) But are joint families synonymous to joint decisions ? It just doesn't feel right. I was avoiding writing about this since a long time, fearing that you all might think I've lost my sanity and I hate my family. But writing is all about venting out, feeling good and light-hearted, isn't it ?

I wrote the above thing 3 hours ago, I couldn't complete because some cousins crashed my blogging hour :D, but strangely, now I don't feel negative anymore :) That's a good thing, good progress, I suppose :)

You know, sometimes a very different thought also crosses my mind, it says 'You have been working your ass off for 4 years trying hard not to get a supplementary and be a software engineer with flying colors, you deserve this break :D, wake up at 12, have brunch, watch Derek getting back to Meredith, PeeVee :D, call and disturb the ones at work, go to gym, watch tv and smile :)'

I'd better listen to this voice now, I like it :) Sitcoms are so darn consuming, I love them. Suggestions anybody ?

P.S. I'm not in as bad a shape as this post might picture for you. Please don't leave me a comment saying 'Life is like this for everybody, don't worry, it'll pass' instead, tell me some funny stories from your awesome day :):). I've read this post 3 times just to re-re-check that I don't send any wrong hint pointing towards the thought that I'm not happy with my parents, but still, if I have faltered somewhere, you should know it was not intentional. They're my angels.

They got me this unexpected surprise cake on this Dughter's day :)

Love

Me