About Her

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India
Little Moments Of Bliss is a silhouette of a feeling that resides in my heart. A software engineer by degree, a writer at heart, and a teacher by profession, I'm all that I never thought I would be. Pretty pictures,a poem that blatantly refuses to rhyme, a text from a deranged friend, a sudden gesture of love, its these little things in life, that matter and sprinkle bliss. Grace the couch and share a cuppa!

October 1, 2011

The Reason

Life isn't very fair and I haven't bragged anything about it in my blog yet, except of course, the mannequin post. You can handle the pressure, but you can't handle it's overflow, or can you ?

My parents have lived in a joint family all their lives which obviously implies that I have lived in a joint family all my life, and when you have elders, and their elders, over you, your decisions are never your own. They are made for you. Worse case scenario - You are a girl. Your safety is the prime reason of their existence. I'm not complaining. I don't complain. I'm not that kind. But when they don't let you finish what you started, for safety reasons, it hurts, and it hurts bad. They tell me, 'you've never lived alone, how can we let you live alone in a big city like that ? job is not that important' I tell them 'I've never lived alone because you've never let me'.

My college ended 3 months ago and this idleness is killing, literally killing me. I can't look for a new job for next 3 months (due to some family issues again). I haven't been commenting and visiting your blogs much only because they tell me that you are happy and I am not. I'm sorry because you will have to cope up with my sad posts for a little longer. Please do not stop reading me :D Oh, humor, makes me glad. I don't need a gym, but I've joined one to direct my idle negative energies towards my workout, and then I thought, it won't hurt much either. I've received some mails concerning my last post and after reading them, it felt like I am some depressed maniac who needs desperate therapy. It didn't feel very good, which is why I disabled direct comments there. I'd rather say, walk a mile in my shoes and then kick the ball whichever way you want to.

I'd like a special mention to this particular mail that made me smile amidst this all, Musings Of a Troubled Mind sent me a mail saying he misses my write-ups, it felt good, beyond words.
I love my family, I love my father, I like catching him red handed stealing cookies from the kitchen :D (Mom doesn't let him eat them due to his diabetes), I love my mom, shes overprotective and takes too much stress, but that is how mothers are, right ? Mine is no different. Mine is infact more sweet and nice :) But are joint families synonymous to joint decisions ? It just doesn't feel right. I was avoiding writing about this since a long time, fearing that you all might think I've lost my sanity and I hate my family. But writing is all about venting out, feeling good and light-hearted, isn't it ?

I wrote the above thing 3 hours ago, I couldn't complete because some cousins crashed my blogging hour :D, but strangely, now I don't feel negative anymore :) That's a good thing, good progress, I suppose :)

You know, sometimes a very different thought also crosses my mind, it says 'You have been working your ass off for 4 years trying hard not to get a supplementary and be a software engineer with flying colors, you deserve this break :D, wake up at 12, have brunch, watch Derek getting back to Meredith, PeeVee :D, call and disturb the ones at work, go to gym, watch tv and smile :)'

I'd better listen to this voice now, I like it :) Sitcoms are so darn consuming, I love them. Suggestions anybody ?

P.S. I'm not in as bad a shape as this post might picture for you. Please don't leave me a comment saying 'Life is like this for everybody, don't worry, it'll pass' instead, tell me some funny stories from your awesome day :):). I've read this post 3 times just to re-re-check that I don't send any wrong hint pointing towards the thought that I'm not happy with my parents, but still, if I have faltered somewhere, you should know it was not intentional. They're my angels.

They got me this unexpected surprise cake on this Dughter's day :)

Love

Me

30 comments:

  1. Love your writing and I can relate to soo much :)

    Thank you for sharing

    Regards
    The PostMan
    http://postcardsinthewind.blogspot.com/

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  2. hehehe.. i like the Derek & Meredith idea.. best thing to beat blues.. first time here and I am self applauding myself for being your 200th follower..(clap, clap, clap)

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  3. There! Thats some cheerfulness I was looking forward to :) Thanks for the special mention. Great to see you back :). And no, u dont send any negative signals. Its the rightful indignation of a grown up girl who's denied her rights to take a decision forself. Maybe you should just put ur (beautiful) foot down more. Stomp!!
    Hell yeah, 2 months of joblessness and I feel the heat already :P
    cheers

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  4. Hey, girl! What a yummy looking cake you've got there. Venting is great! No worries. :)

    XoXo, Bree
    http://vivalabreee.blogspot.com/
    Tweet me: Viva_La_Breee

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  5. Hey Ayuu........haww..I had no clue of what was going on...main aur meri satyanaash ho collg wali duniya!! You know what sweetheart, u have no reason to feel guilty abt writing this post. I think I can understand what happens when u stay in a joint family. And now that I'm used to the independence my nuclear family has given me, I totally understand how chained u might be feeling. Go ahead! Tell them amicably that you too have ur needs, and times have indeed changed.! AH..I wont really say mote on this, coz I'm a rebel:P....acha u knw what..when I saw the cake I read it as "Happy Drugness Day"..lol..icing hi kuch aisi thi:D..;)haha...I 'm like " When did u get drugged??"..:D haha
    love
    Aakriti

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  6. Honesty is what makes you so attractive :). Loved this post. You are just being truthful, it doesn't give any wrong implications.

    Loved the new background

    Missing the signature :(

    Stay Blessed ^_^

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  7. You know there are certain posts which you read and nod like a retard or mumble "same..SAME" or "yes yes !!".
    Yeah, this was one of them for me.
    Being brought up for 18 years (almost 19 in 2 months but I just like calling myself 18 forever for some strange reason :P) in a family comprising of 12 members, with parents, g.parents, uncles and aunts and their children, I've come to notice that the sense of individuality is somewhere left behind.
    I wanted to study away from home after m 12th and it was a straight no from everyone which followed a reason of how I am 'lovingly protected by everyone' since birth and 'not yet ready' to be left alone.
    I didn't feel angry or disappointed. I just sensed a sting of failure of yet another attempt of my poor little existence to make it's presence felt.
    This is one of your best for me:)

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  8. hmmm....true and no funny stories to share today...but soon will come back with some...

    Good Luck !

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  9. Good to see that you're dealing well with the dark phase, like you say, enjoy the break while it lasts for you might not ever get it again in life:)

    As for your decisions not being your own, *sigh* you have no idea how much I understand.

    Love what you said about your dad:) So sweet!

    Glad you like Mere-Dere, glad to have been a catalyst:)
    Try Fringe next if you're into sci-fi, Dexter, 90210, Gossip Girls, Castle, The Mentalist, Entourage.... Plenty more. Google these, read up on Wiki about the plots, pick what you like, download and watch away to glory:)

    >hugs<

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  10. Hmmm i m having the same problem as u dear.but i dont live in a joined family but still whatever decision that i make must go through the whole family and of course they will say no at last..u noe how many job offers that i have turned down so far???..:( my mom doesnt let me to take up that offers coz its so far away from home =( and literally I hate the job that i have now..

    Enjoy this moment,btw,i have missed lots of episodes on grey's anatomy :/ ..i miss derek and meredith so much

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  11. I am so glad your writing again! Don't worry so much about what you write, write what you feel. When I read it, it makes me feel that someone one out there is going thru struggles too and it helps me to relate. I personally love your style of writing. Funny, I recently wrote a post about life not being fair. I would love for you to read it and tell me what you think: http://afragileclayjarwithatreasureinside.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-cup-of-unfairness.html

    We love you!

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  12. :-)

    You sound way better than I may in your situation. Bravo...

    Love and hugs
    Chintu Singh

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  13. hehehehe :) ur fat legs with the rose have indeed made a grt profile pic :) like it :D
    n bout the job stay at home njoy! coz wen u later go to stay alone u'll miss these moments!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  14. Problems are a part of life, and reading ur post says that you handle them pretty well, adding humor to it..

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  15. Firstly, love your new profile pic. Love the way the red gains all the attention, which should make you happy it moves away the attention from your 'fat' legs? Or so you say:P!
    I guess we have same 'type' of parents ;)!! And about the decisions, I totally understand babe!
    One good thing about this could be your trips to gym! I wish I had something to boost me up to visit the gym sometimes! Tried loads and loads of times to pay a visit to the gym Just not happening man :(

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  16. You have this great sense to vent out everything about your whole situation, then feeling quite guilty whether you send any wrong hints or something, re-re-checking the whole post, and then suddenly, yeah, suddenly, attaching a happy-daughters-day cake picture. I loved that suddenness about this post!
    Way to go, Ayushi! :)

    Arundhati.
    http://whatexistingmeans.blogspot.com/

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  17. nice dp... and no i dont say life is like that :P i m thinking of the stories should i tell you or not :)

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  18. Happy to read you again........life is a bit of this and that and your ramblings make sense! Always enjoy your words, you just write well, whatever you are talking about!!
    I have my hours too and I can say my mum is over over protective, not counting my grand-ma just got the idea that she is my mum too - you see sometime family drives me crazy. I think they are a bit crazy anyway.
    Have a good day! And love this cake.........

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  19. Stay at home and enjoy it while you can, sweety. Coz once you start working, lofe will never be the way you want it. Trust me.

    The profile pic is sexy. :)

    And have you tried watching The Big Bang Theory? You'll get hooked, without doubt!

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  20. oi!!

    congrats on reaching the 200 mark :)

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  21. .love your write ups =)

    following you.

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  22. The postMan : Thank You :)

    Sukupedia : Derek and Mere always make me happy :), and I also super-applaud you for being my 200th reader, thank you :) double century is a big mark :)

    Musings : haha :D My (beautiful) foot :P You're mistaken, It's 3 months of joblessness :( But I'll write and time'll run by my side :P Thank you for missing my work :)

    Bree : Yes it is Bree :)

    Aakriti : I saw the pictures of your mom and dad, and with a special mention I'd add, your Dad looks charismatic :) Tell him, I said so :P
    I'm not guilty anymore :)

    Hamza : And you haven't Hamza, you're just 18 or so :):)

    Shashank : The signature makes it difficult for me to change backgrounds :( So, I removed it. And thank you :)

    Priyanka : Ah, there, I see you, I thought no-one was ever going to tell me they too have a joint family and these same problems :P It was making things worse. But there you are, and ask me about the failure part :(

    Thinking : Looking forward to it :)

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  23. wishin u all the best,
    nikhimenon

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  24. PeeVee : Let the break be over now. Every girl has the same problem. Sigh. I wonder when will we grow older. My daddy cutest. haha :D I've seen half of these, will be glad to see the rest, I wish downloading was a matter of seconds :P

    TOSM : Atleast you have a job sweetie, I'm idle. Catch up on GA, its getting interesting day by day :)

    Diana : My pen would never stop running sweetie :) I'll check your post as soon as I finish with this :)

    Chintan : I thought you were Chintan Gupta, Why have you signed with a different name ?

    Megharana : Thank You :) I hope I miss being jobless very soon :)

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  25. KP : I'm glad it gives this impression :)

    life-a-holic : I didn't think of the red flower like that :), your perspective makes me happy :) Try gym, its awesome :)

    Arundhati : You caught me, I added that picture to make people trust my actual intentions behind this venting out :) impressed :D

    Israr : thank you :)

    MarieHarmony : I'm glad my ramblings make sense to somebody :P Family drives all of us crazy :P You too have a good day :)

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  26. Spiff : I'm trying my best to enjoy this time :) Thank you for the profile pic :) I'll watch BBT soon, If you like it I'll also like it :)

    Shashank : Thank you :)

    Kharren : thank You :)

    nikhimenon : Wish you the same :)

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  27. Happy that I could make someone a bit more happier :)!! And yes I will!!! Hopefully!! :/

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  28. Honey!! I have been through all this... all you need is talk and make them understand you are not kid anymore.... this use to happen with me too...

    But one talked with my mom and finally...I can take my own decisions bt i prefer toking with my parents before implementing them... :P

    God bless you!!

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  29. Wonderwall : I done it all, but the situation seems to be at its better end now :)

    You also stay blessed :)

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