Of the hand that held hers

Ridhima was dead. Sarah had overheard some doctors discuss over how should they break this news to her. She was not able to move any part of her bruised body below her neck. Was the accident so bad ? The grief was too big to acknowledge. She knew she will be alone for the rest of her life. Was it only a few weeks ago when I broke the news to them ? Everything came flooding back to her.

She remembered that day.

***

It was the day. It was finally the day. It was the day Sarah was going to remember for the rest of her life. She had put on her blue pullover because somebody had once told her shades of blue represent peace and calm.

'No, I should probably change into my safe pair of denims' Sarah thought.

A brawl over her short skirt was the last thing Sarah wanted to happen that day.

Her panic was rising with each passing microsecond. She could almost taste bile in her throat. She picked up her phone and called Ridhima for the 50th time. Her network switched to voicemail.

'Where on earth are you R ? You better be on your way to my place. I'm on my way to panic-death here. This isn't just about us now. I need you to grow up and take some responsibility.'

and Sarah disconnected the call. She hadn't realized, her forehead was dripping with sweat. She opened her closet, picked out her white towel that came as a thank you gift from her spa, wiped off all the sweat from her face and took the longest breath of her life, muttering

'They are my parents, they brought me to life, they have to love me, no matter what, its their duty to love me, this isn't a crime, its just the way I'm made, they have to broaden their horizons and grasp what I have to offer this time. its all going to be okay'

and she exhaled from her mouth.

At that second, the doorbell rang. Her heart picked up pace. This better be her. It was her. Sarah's ears picked up traces of warm greetings from the ground floor, her parents seemed to be in the best of their moods. Ridhima climbed up the stairs in a hurry, almost tripped once and finally reached Sarah's room. As soon as she entered, Sarah hugged her. They held each other for a long one and a half minutes, as though trying to dissolve their worries into each other.


My decision is correct, its all worth it, SHES all worth it, I love her, and it is time to stand up for what I believe in.

Sarah's mother's voice broke the embrace, but they were still holding each other. 'Let's do it Sarah' Ridhima said and smiled her disturbingly beautiful smile.

Downstairs, Sarah's father was reading his daily morning newspaper and cribbing about the presence of everything but news in the newspaper, and her mother was busy in the kitchen. Sarah nudged her elbow into Ridhima's ribs and whispered I love them, I don't want to be abandoned, she was close to tears. Even her whisper was hoarse and husky. Ridhima knitted her fingers with hers and squeezed her hand gently. They love you way too much to abandon you. Stop panicking Sarah, I love you, don't ever forget that. Its now or never.


S - Good Morning Dad.
Dad - Good Morning my angels.
S - I want to talk to you Dad.


He folded his newspaper, put down his specs and looked at her daughter. The seriousness in her daughter's voice was alien.

Dad - Sure beta, whatever it is.
R - No uncle, We want to talk to both of you together. Lets wait for aunty to finish with her toasts.


In a minute, Sarah's mom appeared out of kitchen with a dish full of yummy-looking toasts.

Dad - Okay kids, let's eat first, and then I'm all yours, he smiled.
Ridhima - No uncle, it's important.
He looked at them with curious analyzing eyes, his eyebrows meeting in the middle of his forehead, and said Okay.

Sarah - Okay. Dad, I know this is going to come as a shock to you at first but I very desperately need you to understand what I'm about to say now. I am 23 and I don't want you to assume that I'm immature. It isn't a choice. Its what I am. Its how I'm made. I'm happy with life but I cannot survive without your consent. Okay ?
Mom - You're scaring us now. Just tell us. What is it ?
Sarah - Mom, Me and R, we love each other.


Her dad laughed hearing that.


Dad - We know that baby, We know you both are less of friends and more of sisters. And we love you too. Where is the news in this ?
Ridhima - Uncle, you don't understand. Its not the sister-love, its the lover-love. We want to get married.
S's mom ignored the hint, smiled and said 'Oh, Is this about marriage ? Hari, our daughters are grown up ladies now'

Sarah - No mom, You really don't get it or are you just pretending not to acknowledge it ? I love Ridhima and I want to marry her. I'm a lesbian mom. Deep down somewhere, you've always known this. I could sense it.


Silence took over. Sarah's parents stared into thin air. Nobody said another word for the next minute. Finally Ridhima said 'We love each other aunty. It doesn't make us any different. It just makes us brave enough to accept it. We are made this way. Please try to understand'

They both left the room and did not talk to Sarah for 2 days. After 2 days of misery, her dad came to her room and tried to talk her out of it. He wanted Sarah to meet a shrink for a purification ritual and this proposition broke her completely. Her mom wanted her to start with therapy. A week passed, and their house was still filled with an unknown awkward air. After months of endless arguments and discussions, Sarah finally had to leave her parent's house to start a new life with Ridhima. They did not want the society to know about her.

3 days after moving out, Sarah and Ridhima's car met with an accident.

***

The soft blue walls of the hospital filled Sarah's vision. All she knew was that Ridhima was dead. Warm tears flowed down her cheeks and she could not even wipe them off on her own. An eager nurse sprang to help her and asked 'Oh great, you're awake ma'am, do you want me to call anybody ? your family ? you will need their support through all this' 

'No, I'm alone, I don't have a family.'

5 days after the accident, Sarah also joined Ridhima in heaven. Her parents never tried to find out how their daughter was.

I wish people had better understanding of human nature and braced it with open arms.