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Little Moments Of Bliss is a silhouette of a feeling that resides in my heart. A software engineer by degree, a writer at heart, and a teacher by profession, I'm all that I never thought I would be. Pretty pictures,a poem that blatantly refuses to rhyme, a text from a deranged friend, a sudden gesture of love, its these little things in life, that matter and sprinkle bliss. Grace the couch and share a cuppa!

October 14, 2011

Of the hand that held hers

Ridhima was dead. Sarah had overheard some doctors discuss over how should they break this news to her. She was not able to move any part of her bruised body below her neck. Was the accident so bad ? The grief was too big to acknowledge. She knew she will be alone for the rest of her life. Was it only a few weeks ago when I broke the news to them ? Everything came flooding back to her.

She remembered that day.
***
It was the day. It was finally the day. It was the day Sarah was going to remember for the rest of her life. She had put on her blue pullover because somebody had once told her shades of blue represent peace and calm.

'No, I should probably change into my safe pair of denims' Sarah thought.

A brawl over her short skirt was the last thing Sarah wanted to happen that day.

Her panic was rising with each passing microsecond. She could almost taste bile in her throat. She picked up her phone and called Ridhima for the 50th time. Her network switched to voicemail.

'Where on earth are you R ? You better be on your way to my place. I'm on my way to panic-death here. This isn't just about us now. I need you to grow up and take some responsibility.'

and Sarah disconnected the call. She hadn't realized, her forehead was dripping with sweat. She opened her closet, picked out her white towel that came as a thank you gift from her spa, wiped off all the sweat from her face and took the longest breath of her life, muttering

'They are my parents, they brought me to life, they have to love me, no matter what, its their duty to love me, this isn't a crime, its just the way I'm made, they have to broaden their horizons and grasp what I have to offer this time. its all going to be okay'

and she exhaled from her mouth.

At that second, the doorbell rang. Her heart picked up pace. This better be her. It was her. Sarah's ears picked up traces of warm greetings from the ground floor, her parents seemed to be in the best of their moods. Ridhima climbed up the stairs in a hurry, almost tripped once and finally reached Sarah's room. As soon as she entered, Sarah hugged her. They held each other for a long one and a half minutes, as though trying to dissolve their worries into each other.


My decision is correct, its all worth it, SHES all worth it, I love her, and it is time to stand up for what I believe in.

Sarah's mother's voice broke the embrace, but they were still holding each other. 'Let's do it Sarah' Ridhima said and smiled her disturbingly beautiful smile.

Downstairs, Sarah's father was reading his daily morning newspaper and cribbing about the presence of everything but news in the newspaper, and her mother was busy in the kitchen. Sarah nudged her elbow into Ridhima's ribs and whispered I love them, I don't want to be abandoned, she was close to tears. Even her whisper was hoarse and husky. Ridhima knitted her fingers with hers and squeezed her hand gently. They love you way too much to abandon you. Stop panicking Sarah, I love you, don't ever forget that. Its now or never.


S - Good Morning Dad.
Dad - Good Morning my angels.
S - I want to talk to you Dad.


He folded his newspaper, put down his specs and looked at her daughter. The seriousness in her daughter's voice was alien.

Dad - Sure beta, whatever it is.
R - No uncle, We want to talk to both of you together. Lets wait for aunty to finish with her toasts.


In a minute, Sarah's mom appeared out of kitchen with a dish full of yummy-looking toasts.

Dad - Okay kids, let's eat first, and then I'm all yours, he smiled.
Ridhima - No uncle, it's important.
He looked at them with curious analyzing eyes, his eyebrows meeting in the middle of his forehead, and said Okay.

Sarah - Okay. Dad, I know this is going to come as a shock to you at first but I very desperately need you to understand what I'm about to say now. I am 23 and I don't want you to assume that I'm immature. It isn't a choice. Its what I am. Its how I'm made. I'm happy with life but I cannot survive without your consent. Okay ?
Mom - You're scaring us now. Just tell us. What is it ?
Sarah - Mom, Me and R, we love each other.


Her dad laughed hearing that.


Dad - We know that baby, We know you both are less of friends and more of sisters. And we love you too. Where is the news in this ?
Ridhima - Uncle, you don't understand. Its not the sister-love, its the lover-love. We want to get married.
S's mom ignored the hint, smiled and said 'Oh, Is this about marriage ? Hari, our daughters are grown up ladies now'

Sarah - No mom, You really don't get it or are you just pretending not to acknowledge it ? I love Ridhima and I want to marry her. I'm a lesbian mom. Deep down somewhere, you've always known this. I could sense it.


Silence took over. Sarah's parents stared into thin air. Nobody said another word for the next minute. Finally Ridhima said 'We love each other aunty. It doesn't make us any different. It just makes us brave enough to accept it. We are made this way. Please try to understand'

They both left the room and did not talk to Sarah for 2 days. After 2 days of misery, her dad came to her room and tried to talk her out of it. He wanted Sarah to meet a shrink for a purification ritual and this proposition broke her completely. Her mom wanted her to start with therapy. A week passed, and their house was still filled with an unknown awkward air. After months of endless arguments and discussions, Sarah finally had to leave her parent's house to start a new life with Ridhima. They did not want the society to know about her.

3 days after moving out, Sarah and Ridhima's car met with an accident.

***

The soft blue walls of the hospital filled Sarah's vision. All she knew was that Ridhima was dead. Warm tears flowed down her cheeks and she could not even wipe them off on her own. An eager nurse sprang to help her and asked 'Oh great, you're awake ma'am, do you want me to call anybody ? your family ? you will need their support through all this' 

'No, I'm alone, I don't have a family.'


5 days after the accident, Sarah also joined Ridhima in heaven. Her parents never tried to find out how their daughter was.

I wish people had better understanding of human nature and braced it with open arms. 

49 comments:

  1. :'( I don't need more sadness in my life, but this was beautiful!! I was hoping till the end that the parents would understand:( Too much to hope for even now I suppose *sigh*

    You have a way wit storylines, love. You really do.

    P.S: What happened to them exactly? Accident was it?

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  2. Honestly, I don't have a clear thought on homosexuality. But, when it comes to accepting who you are and standing up for it, close ones should work together to make it simple rather than complicated.

    Stay Blessed ^_^

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  3. Hard for the parents to accept that.. and even harder in India. Personally I think children should marry with their parent consent. :)

    Weakest LINK

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  4. Hmm..!! Was hoping the parents would agree to it, at least after knowing that Ridhima died! But sad to know that the parents didn't even bother to know where their daughter was

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  5. Beautifully scripted, Kudos.

    You've stressed on the buzzword - Acceptance or rather the lack of it.

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  6. If only society accepted emotions and feelings, instead on stamping them with their opinions and judgements.
    Loved this.! They way u intricately described. Carved a scene in my head!

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  7. That's a really beautiful and touching story. You narrate very well. Please keep writing.

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  8. You write beautifully as always. I actually never have anything to say to your posts cause I feel like whatever I say isn't enough! ;P

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  9. Thats a very beautifully crafted and touching too. Loved it :)

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  10. Its their life, their beliefs, and most importantly THEIR sexual orientation. I wish people'd be less big hypocrites when they preach about high moral values and all that bullshit when they don't mean it! People have to stop stamping on other's emotions SOME DAY!
    This was so poignant. Sketched images before me.
    I wish it weren't such a huge taboo. Sigh

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  11. hmmm its complicated but when it comes to love nothing else matters right...

    Nice

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  12. A very bold and emotional post..! Nice flow in the words. and I am always delighted to read one of your works..!

    I think the way you ended it was very nice.. rather than making it a happy one..! loved it..

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  13. PeeVee : They're never as witty as yours sweetie :) Yes, unfortunately they met with an accident.

    Shashank : On the contrary, I have a very clear mind regarding homosexuality. They're as human as we are and they have the courage to stand up for it. I respect them for that.

    Rachit : It wasn't about marriage here. It was about their sexual orientation Rachit.

    Deepthi : I'm sorry for making you sad sweetheart but I wrote what came from my heart.

    Atrocious : Thank you :) Did you recently leave your blog open to only invited readers ? I tried visiting but couldn't.

    Red Handed : Thank You Red :) your comment always means a lot :)

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  14. Sumitra : I will :) as long as you keep reading :)

    N.I.O. : :D That was too sweet :) I love you, I want you to know that :)

    Jo-Anne : Thank You :)

    Bagya : Thank you sweetie :) and your bag is beautiful :) trust me :)

    Crystal : Looks like we share more than names here :) Thank you for sparing your time and reading sweetie :)

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  15. TOSM : Yes sweetheart :)

    KP : Thank You KP :) You have no idea why this comment was the closest to my heart :)

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  16. Was doing some maintenance work on it. I think it will be accessible now. You're welcome as always.

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  17. Wit comes easy. Emotion, not so much:)

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  18. WoW! I think this is one of your best stories to date :-) I, too, liked that the ending wasn't happy because I think it added more impact to the topic of the story and the sad fact that people's stringent views on homosexuality override their love for a human being, even one that is born from their own womb.

    I wish people would wake up to the fact that this isn't a 'choice' of lifestyle and have some compassion for what a struggle this is for the person who didn't ask to be 'different' ~ they were simply born that way.

    Wonderfully *knitted* lines! :-)

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  19. B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.
    Usually when people write about lesbian/gay love, they emphasize on the sexual aspect. Here, I LOVED the way you portrayed the tender love between them and how their freedom to sexual orientation is looked down upon.
    I knew a lesbian couple once who had to choose suicide as the only to be together. Peace be upon them! Anita Nair - a full chinese bow to you :)

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  20. Atrocious : I get it :) Your new post tells me that :)

    PeeVee : You under-estimate yourself ;)

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  21. Lady Fiona : Thank You :) I have no clue what made me write the ending in such a way, but I guess people are liking it :)
    It isn't something they choose, it's what they are.
    Thank You again :)

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  22. Musings : I was just beginning to wonder where were you ? :) I have never known gay couples but I think they are more humane than the ones with straight sexual orientation :)

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  23. :) In a way, yes. They're more tender-hearted than us the straight ones. But they too have a right to live as everyone else does.

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  24. I believe that is the best way to write down something. Write what comes from your heart, and it is sure to be a success. Like this one!

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  25. Musings : Of course they do :) A gay man once asked me the way to McDonalds while I was hanging out with my friends. His accent and the way he walked silently screamed that he was special. My friends laughed as hard as they could when he left, imitating his accent. It broke my heart.

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  26. Meghana : And a few lucky ones get it.

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  27. Hard hitting reality... hmm..
    Beautifully written ... :)

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  28. well, your friends cant be blamed entirely, if you ask me. That's the way they are brought up to think just like we're brought up to think otherwise :)
    Keep writing :)

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  29. Splendidly written..

    I don't wanna say more and spoil it...

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  30. Vanshika : I'm happy that you didn't call it hilarious this time :P

    Short poems : Thank You :)

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  31. Musings : :):) You too :)

    Spiff : Thank You :)

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  32. Aw man...!! I knew the ending would be sad.. But the last line was too much.. I felt a squeeze inside.. The parents never tried to find their daughter...!! Beautiful and very delicately narrated each emotions... :) loved it..

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  33. Thank you visiting my blog and for the lovely comment.You made my day :) You write beautifully.

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  34. I wish so dear but people will take time to shell the inhibitions...:)

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  35. Aye, I just wanted to know if the mannequin-phase if over. Inquisitive. You didn't reply, that is why. Email me on aayushi_singh95@yahoo.in
    And go, bad girl,say hello to my blog, haven't seen you there in a while. You don't have to publish this comment if you don't wish hun :)

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  36. Hi,

    Yes..there is sadness in the story..which in a way also tells us how our society..(especially the Indian society) works now. It is a sad state..when an individual is not allowed to express their wish or follow their desire as best as they want to...and if we look for acceptance from our loved ones for what we are...and we don't get it....it is very disturbing..and painful.. That said..I hope..the current generation is getting wiser..and more of us care and accept the individual aspirations and expressions of others...and not just in choosing a partner..but in every other aspect.

    Regarding the story...there is not much mention of the parents of Sarah..or how did they take the news...but probably I am assuming...that it is not mentioned...as their reaction would not have been any different from Riddhima's parents...

    Cheers to a better future :)

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  37. Supernickk : Thankyou nick :) I totally adored your photo blog :) You felt the squeeze, I meant to do that ;)

    Pandora's Box : Thank You :)

    Saru Di : I hope the same di :)

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  38. Cяystal : The mannequin phase is long lost Crystal :) I'm going to visit your world very very soon :)

    Kunal : Exactly what I wanted to portray :)

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  39. Nice one... The ending was perfect!

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  40. Hehe when u told me to read this post, I was expecting something very hot. Dont raise ur eyebrows, tell any guy u wrote a lesbo love story post and u will see the same reaction. :D :D I was really busy and that is the only reason why I havent been able to read for so long. Now that I have, I think I can answer the question u asked me that day. U should never stop writing stories :) If you write romantic stories, it will be all the more better because you think about it all the time :D :D Romance will come easy to you and love will flow like the air in the stuff u write :D

    Cheers,
    Narcissist

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  41. I struggle with the fact that some things about human nature is accepted, but some is generally accepted to be evil. What if the desire to murder someone was part of someone's nature? Is that something we should embrace? What is the determining factor of what or what is not okay? Is there one? If there is a standard of what should or shouldn't be accepted, then where is it? If it varies from person to person, what can we depend on?

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  42. Love is love :'( what does sexual orientation have to do with it !
    Very well written =) In my head they have a happy ending if not in life then maybe after that :)

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