That one friend you loved the most, that one friend you shared your most dirty secrets and fantasies with, that one friend who ripped you apart like a heartless butcher, that one friend will always matter the most.
I clicked on the'New Post' button as soon as I logged in today thinking I'd just write about it and get it over with. But here I am, staring at the blank screen from the past 3 minutes wondering why do I even want to write about her. She broke me, she made me cry my eyes out, reached heights of misunderstanding me and still, there is that little corner of my heart that wishes her the best of all worlds.
She was my best friend for as long as I remember. We were joint-at -the-hip twins. I had more in common with her than I had with myself. People used to call us the alpha-beta couple. Perhaps because my name starts with an 'A' and hers with a 'B'. And we always took pride in it's lameness :D, because we thought they both can't exist without each other. Well, apparently they can. I've spent the most beautiful years of my teen age with her. Technically, she was my better half. We've played, yes played, laughed, cried, and even had pimples together. More so, we even started PMSing in the same time frame. I promised her that I'd be that crazy aunt who'll spoil her kids. We literally took an oath that we'd tell each other everything about our first nights. No, that isn't cheesy, that was two little 17 years old giggling and promising to be bffs forever.
She left a void. I have many beautiful people in my life right now. Everything is stable and lovely. But the void still exists. They love me, I love them. They care. I care. It still doesn't feel the same. I know it never will. This void has crept beneath my skin. Looks like you're only allotted a certain amount of tears per person and I've used up mine. Her absence doesn't make my eyes moist now. It feels like autumn. Dry autumn.
I love you B, I always do, even while I hate you.