About Her

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Little Moments Of Bliss is a silhouette of a feeling that resides in my heart. A software engineer by degree, a writer at heart, and a teacher by profession, I'm all that I never thought I would be. Pretty pictures,a poem that blatantly refuses to rhyme, a text from a deranged friend, a sudden gesture of love, its these little things in life, that matter and sprinkle bliss. Grace the couch and share a cuppa!

November 21, 2011

.. I Love You But I Love Myself More

I'd be lying if I'd say I've forgotten you.
I'd be lying if I'd say tears don't brim up my eyes when I think of you.
I'd be lying if I'd say I don't love you.

I became permeable when I let you in my heart.
And you consumed me,
much more than what I was willing to relinquish,
There is more of you, than me, in myself now,
You made me grow out of it.
I've fallen out of love.
Those wounds would never heal,
You've left me with one little souvenir,
The one thing, I'll cherish forever,
That still keeps me going,
is Strength.
That cage isn't my home now,
I feel liberated,
I love you
But I love myself more,
And am not ashamed to say so.

These lines have no business in my life. These have been written for those people who let their better half suck all the happiness out of their life, just because they once thought they were meant to be together for eternity. When two people are deeply in love, they promise each other the moon and the sun, but once the veil of adoration starts to lift itself, this love can become a sad,toxic version of itself.

Have the heart to speak up for what you think makes sense and see how the world becomes a beautiful place to live in once again. Love yourself first. Breathe. Make decisions. Love is not supposed to make you miserable.

When I heard Samantha say 'I love You but I love Myself more' in 'The Sex and the City' for the first time, I fell for her all the more.
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84 comments:

  1. One Life. Many Moments.November 21, 2011 at 11:54 PM

    What a beautiful one, Ayu! And how very true!:)

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  2. Writing BeeNovember 22, 2011 at 12:14 AM

    Words knitted with complete honesty and love..!! But isn't it hard to say those words out??!!

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  3. the other side of meNovember 22, 2011 at 12:45 AM

    Just felt like saying Thanks..you made me realize something :)

    Good day

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  4. Rahul BhatiaNovember 22, 2011 at 1:52 AM

    One can love others if only one loves himself first! So true..

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  5. CяystalNovember 22, 2011 at 1:56 AM

    Sometimes you have to love yourself more, not selfishly, but yes. Samantha is 100 percent right.

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  6. A guilty conscienceNovember 22, 2011 at 2:14 AM

    to be exact.....its actually not loving yourself but respecting yourself as an indivisual...your Preferences..choices....interests.....

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  7. Spaceman SpiffNovember 22, 2011 at 2:28 AM

    Ah.. yes. This motto of mine is what earned me the titles of psycho and bitch from someone. It's a good thing that I didn't care two hoots about it. :P
    When I read th title of this post, I was wondering where I've heard it. Sex and the City- Movie, yes. :) I agree with what she says. I've always believed in it. If I can't be happy with something or someone, then I cannot make someone else happy.

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  8. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 3:11 AM

    Twish -
    I have friends going through this situation, that is what makes me so familiar with it.

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  9. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 3:15 AM

    Life-a-holic -
    Exactly what I want to say Deepthi, gather the courage. I remember your last comment and I know you'll speak up someday :)

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  10. CяystalNovember 22, 2011 at 3:21 AM

    Check the left column of my blog. That's all I could do.

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  11. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 3:24 AM

    Tosm -
    Seriously, Did I ? That was the best thing ever.

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  12. Preeti S.November 22, 2011 at 3:24 AM

    I knew I heard that line somewhere. :P

    A beautiful poem. Love is never about the misery and losing oneself so completely into the other that there is no sense of identity left. You can love someone like crazy but, I guess, its necessary to love your own self equally as well. Well penned. :)

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  13. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 3:25 AM

    Rahul -
    I'm so glad you understood :)

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  14. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 3:26 AM

    Crystal -
    You you you, I just read all I could and are you for real Love ? I'm awed, purely awed.

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  15. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 3:26 AM

    A loner -
    To each his own Sweetheart :)

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  16. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 3:27 AM

    Spiff -
    Seriously, If you aren't happy with yourself, how on earth do you expect somebody else to love you ?

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  17. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 3:28 AM

    Crystal -
    You've got to be kidding :D I love you more now Soul Sister :)

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  18. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 3:31 AM

    Enigmatic -
    Individual identity is something you should never ever lose, No matter what. I'm glad you like my attempt at the prose :)

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  19. sumitraNovember 22, 2011 at 3:55 AM

    Very lovely words.

    I have always admired people who could say that. "I love you but I love myself more." I wish I could do that sometimes, but I can't. It's a handicap.

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  20. KunalNovember 22, 2011 at 4:47 AM

    Only when we love and respect ourselves, can we love and respect others. Compromises we do, which seeks to destroy happiness of our partner is not a compromise, but a slow poison.

    The sooner we realize this, the better. :)

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  21. Misterio VidaNovember 22, 2011 at 5:32 AM

    well..i think nobody loves anybody...everybody love themselves... if one wants to be in company of his/her beloved it is only because it will give pleasure to him/herself... true love could be that we should want what our beloved wants but who does this? nobody... we only want things the way that would make us happy...

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  22. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 5:44 AM

    Sumitra -
    I've also always admired such people :) They deserve a sure applause for having such a belief.

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  23. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 5:45 AM

    Kunal -
    Exactly my point. Love yourself first if you want to be loved by others. :)

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  24. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 5:47 AM

    Israr -
    And truly speaking, if you ask me first, putting other person's needs before your own only happens when the other person is worth it.

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  25. UnknownNovember 22, 2011 at 7:07 AM

    So true :)

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  26. Musings of a Troubled MindNovember 22, 2011 at 8:38 AM

    Salute!! Whatta post!! :)

    But, doesn't every love relation start on an unrealistic note, hits reality somewhere and then continues the show by adjustments?

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  27. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 9:16 AM

    Kathy -
    Yes, it is :)

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  28. AyushiNovember 22, 2011 at 9:18 AM

    Musings -
    You really think this was good ? I'm apprehensive. Anyway, thnk you so much :) I wonder what would happen if adjustments didnt exist.

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  29. suvaibaNovember 22, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    sorry for not posting a comment on thy last post...! my beautiful net connection is so talented that it just did not display that video in here.!
    i pour my heart in remore * 3 drops of saline water*
    and yes you fell for that line and i fell for you in this post..!
    this is so much like me..!
    that is what i tell my freinds/class mates including crystal and they blabber about love...! oh my god you are 17 and you are talking about pyar/mohabbat/ishq and blah..! wtf..!
    and i have mentioned this statement in my about me- I LOVE MYSELF AND ONLY WHEN YOU LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS.
    isn't it?
    the opening lines were fab.
    i know i can't make you happy all at once but hope my this comment made up for my not commenting on thy last post..!
    em sorry..! :)


    take care
    P.s- just realized 4 days ago how much blog ville has given me in terms of people like you and TOSM and blunt.! :)
    hows lyf? <3 lotsa love

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  30. ZebaNovember 22, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    That line by Samantha. It had a profound effect on me as well. The lines are beautiful. Even if they are not for you. Or for me. They are good.

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  31. P i x i eNovember 22, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    I loved the way you have slipped into someone's shoes and written something so wonderful and something so true to life.
    Much appreciation.

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  32. BhargaviNovember 22, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    super motto.. I've had enough of "I can't live without you" nautankey all around me. More Samanthas please...

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  33. SameeraNovember 22, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    Such posts leave me tongue tied. Probably it is true.

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  34. Red HandedNovember 22, 2011 at 9:14 PM

    Great lines and actually means a lot!! True !!
    Self respect and vanity gets lost when u get blinded in someones love, you start loosing urself and become a puppet...
    I am against tht..
    beautiful lines!

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  35. VanshikaNovember 22, 2011 at 11:35 PM

    Those lines are so true and beautiful! :)
    And it truly sucks when all your happiness get drained out of your life 'cause You are too busy trying to keep Your better half Happy.
    I have an experience with that.
    But well its really hard to step out of Love once You are in it.
    Take Care!

    Love! :)

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  36. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 2:13 AM

    Suvaiba -
    Your comments so make up for everything and that too so sweetly :) and 17 !!, tellme about it, I've been a shoulder to cry for many of my friends and they continue to fall in the pit again and again.

    I'm also soo soo glad I met you and Crys :)

    Love :)

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  37. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 2:13 AM

    Zeba -
    Indeed, they're so true :)

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  38. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 2:16 AM

    Pixie -
    I actually wrote those lines for a very special friend. :)

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  39. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 2:17 AM

    Bhargavi -
    Coming right up :)

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  40. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 2:18 AM

    Sameera -
    I've seen it :)

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  41. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 2:18 AM

    Red -
    Thank You red :) Means a lot :)

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  42. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 2:18 AM

    Red -
    Thank You red :) Means a lot :)

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  43. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 2:20 AM

    Vanshika -
    I'm so glad you've related :)

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  44. Writing BeeNovember 23, 2011 at 5:08 AM

    But I am happy now, without saying it out!! But I am sure I would never get the courage to shout those words out!!!

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  45. SuKupedia ™ :) :)November 23, 2011 at 5:41 AM

    I am in the -- I Love You -- mood and it is only because of not neglecting the -- I -- in that statement.. mentioned in one of my posts ..this is what Ann Ryand says about relationships..

    Just wish people understand this and not make themselves and the relationships suffer...men or women applies to everyone !!!

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  46. Nikita Vhora (Nequesta)November 23, 2011 at 7:47 AM

    Truth well written! :) I like the message your sending out there...

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  47. PurpleMist.November 23, 2011 at 8:32 AM

    This post has such a good message, more people need to read this, I think a lot of people can relate to it!
    :)
    Oh and I awarded you on my blog :D

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  48. AnonymousNovember 23, 2011 at 8:41 AM

    I have heard some crazy, addictive lines from sex and the city, but i don't watch it! i am all for individuality first in a couple...

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  49. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    Life-a-holic, You will :) some day :) When it will be absolutely necessary :) You will :)

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  50. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    Suku, And I'm in the I love YOU mood now :)

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  51. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 9:20 AM

    Nikita, Thank You :)

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  52. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 9:20 AM

    PurpleMist, I grabbed that award :) Thank You so so much :)

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  53. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    Chintan, You should see it once, its all about strong women like you :)

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  54. ParulNovember 23, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    Hi :) The lines are so true that anyone could relate to them :) The way you write down about those feelings is amazing dear...why remain with someone just coz you are supposed to be ??? And guess what I so much love Sex And The City :):) Followed :D

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  55. AlcinaNovember 23, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    :)
    So true and agree with you like *nodding head vigorously* :P

    and your poem was beautiful.. :)

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  56. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 11:35 PM

    Parul, Hello sweetheart :) Welcome to LMOB :)
    And thank you so much for those kind words :)

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  57. AyushiNovember 23, 2011 at 11:46 PM

    Alcina, Thank You so much :)

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  58. Writing BeeNovember 24, 2011 at 1:12 AM

    I am happy now is not the perfect time to do so :)!! But yes I pray I would get the strength to do so when really needed, because I truly love myself for what I am :D

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  59. AnkurNovember 24, 2011 at 8:18 AM

    Hard not to agree....
    People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, and not just words that strangers put into their mouths; words like love, which don't really mean anything !!

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  60. PhilO♥November 24, 2011 at 8:41 AM

    Such a lovely poem :)
    In the end, we have to think about ourselves at a point :)

    Great post :)
    I love Samantha :D

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  61. Sh@sNovember 25, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    Wise and sane thoughts. Wish the heart too was sane enough to understand these words.

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  62. KshipraNovember 26, 2011 at 2:45 AM

    Lovely post !!
    I'd be lying if I'd say I've forgotten you- U nailed me here.
    Really.
    And this kind of reminded me of my school days, their was this one friend of mine who was a prefect....and since she was so sincere towards her duty she used to say
    " I love you, but I love my batch more" :)

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  63. AyushiNovember 26, 2011 at 5:41 AM

    Ankur, To each his own, Love means everything to some and nothing to some other :)

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  64. AyushiNovember 26, 2011 at 5:41 AM

    Philo,
    Thank You sweetie :) I love her too :)

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  65. AyushiNovember 26, 2011 at 5:42 AM

    Sh@s, Wish the same

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  66. AyushiNovember 26, 2011 at 5:42 AM

    Tangerine -
    Thank You :)

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  67. the other side of meNovember 26, 2011 at 7:15 AM

    Hey

    Got something for you on my blog..check it out

    http://theothersideofme88.blogspot.com/

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  68. AnonymousNovember 26, 2011 at 10:16 AM

    My first visit here but it won't be my last... gonna follow you so i can read more ;)

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  69. Azra RaphaelNovember 26, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    such a beautiful sentiment serendipity..
    we have to love ourselves even more to get ready for the one. =)

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  70. AyushiNovember 27, 2011 at 12:04 AM

    Tosm -
    You are a sweetheart :) Thank You soo much :)

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  71. AyushiNovember 27, 2011 at 12:05 AM

    THR, Welcome here :)

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  72. AyushiNovember 27, 2011 at 12:05 AM

    Raphael, Thank You for reading :)

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  73. ShreyaNovember 27, 2011 at 7:21 AM

    Nice post. You have a beautiful blog :)

    http://www.iredeem.blogspot.com/

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  74. AyushiNovember 27, 2011 at 9:10 AM

    Shreya, Thank You shreya :)

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  75. The DRAGON in the skin of a goat ;-pNovember 28, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    I have to agree with you, I've always believed that the person you love will never make you cry and the one who does isn't worth your tears. I absolutely love this line " the cage isn't my home now".

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  76. keiNovember 28, 2011 at 6:25 PM

    ..lovely lines

    ..lovely post..

    =)

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  77. AyushiNovember 28, 2011 at 11:39 PM

    Dragon, Thank You so much for praising sweetheart :)

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  78. AyushiNovember 28, 2011 at 11:39 PM

    Thank You Kharren :)

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  79. ♥●• İzdihër •●♥November 30, 2011 at 9:42 AM

    This is so true. Can not disagree.

    Your blog is cute.
    Follow each other blog.

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  80. AyushiNovember 30, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    Thank You :)

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  81. Saru SinghalNovember 30, 2011 at 6:36 PM

    Soulful words...I always say the key to happiness is to keep yourself happy first!

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  82. AyushiDecember 1, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    Exactly Saru Di

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  83. SureeJanuary 8, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    Love is a double edged sword for it grows on you like fungus grows on the surface of a river, slowly cutting oxygen supply to the fish beneath and eventually they die.
    Same happens with love when you let it grow on you beyond a limit and it then suffocates the inside of you to a worse-than-dead-yet-alive mere existence.

    You make a lot of sense in your posts :) Keep it up :)

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  84. Vilas K SonagreAugust 18, 2012 at 11:12 AM

    Nice poem and very genuine words. great writings..............

    ReplyDelete

Scribble some love !

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