.. I Love You But I Love Myself More

I'd be lying if I'd say I've forgotten you.

I'd be lying if I'd say tears don't brim up my eyes when I think of you.

I'd be lying if I'd say I don't love you.

I became permeable when I let you in my heart.

And you consumed me,

much more than what I was willing to relinquish,

There is more of you, than me, in myself now,

You made me grow out of it.

I've fallen out of love.

Those wounds would never heal,

You've left me with one little souvenir,

The one thing, I'll cherish forever,

That still keeps me going,

is Strength.

That cage isn't my home now,

I feel liberated,

I love you

But I love myself more,

And am not ashamed to say so.

These lines have no business in my life. These have been written for those people who let their better half suck all the happiness out of their life, just because they once thought they were meant to be together for eternity. When two people are deeply in love, they promise each other the moon and the sun, but once the veil of adoration starts to lift itself, this love can become a sad,toxic version of itself.

Have the heart to speak up for what you think makes sense and see how the world becomes a beautiful place to live in once again. Love yourself first. Breathe. Make decisions. Love is not supposed to make you miserable.

When I heard Samantha say 'I love You but I love Myself more' in 'The Sex and the City' for the first time, I fell for her all the more.

I ♥ Phoebe Buffay !

You've got to watch this :D

Skinny Love

Music and its swirl of magic. Rhythm so enchanting you want to drown your soul into it. The breath-taking delight of shoving in the earphones. The saxophone throbbing right in the center of your head. Lyrics so heartfelt, your skin breaks into goosebumps. Just when you're giving in to the slow melody, the hard rock kicks in. Your head swirls into a mad frenzy. The swing. The harmony. Acoustics. And finally the beats knock in, exploding a shimmer of joy inside you. A dizzying spell is cast. Ecstasy unfurls its wings and makes you fly. High. Beatitude pulsating against your heart, hammering its smile into it. The intoxicating trance of mirth engulfs you. Insatiable, you're left wanting for more.

Birdy - Skinny Love

Music is my very soul.

My playlist right now

• Birdy - Skinny Love
• Here Without You - 3 Doors Down
• Firework - Katy Perry
• Hey There Delilah - Plain White T

A Word Of Love

Serendipity

The Oxford says it means 'A happy accident'. And that is what happened to me. Deciding to blog was the best thing to have happened to me in this past one year. Because blogger has become an inseparable part of me in these 6 months and has made me meet these utterly beautiful people, I plan to drop in a little 'word of love' for them. This blog has seen me write my first fiction, it has seen me cry for my long lost best friend, it has seen me frustrated, it has seen me ranting senselessly, it has seen me changing its destined title 'Little Moments Of Bliss' to 'Wishful Ramblings' and back, now it needs to know how much I adore you and your work.

This post is to let you know that even if my lazy bum doesn't comment much, I read you and I love what you write, be it your own work or your comments on my blog. My 11.11.11 gift to you :)

The only thing this life of mine has taught me is 'Adore while you still can'.

And I've decided to do just that by giving you this Blissful Blog Award today.

You may forward this award to your fellow bloggers and spread the love :)

Meghna - This girl wrote her very first words when she was 3, you don't believe me ? See for yourself. Her intricate detailing of the mad woman and her wobbly stomach will make you swoon over her pen :) Most of her work is hidden in her laptop or Facebook notes where only a few people can read it. I was the happiest person on earth when she started blogging. And girls, read this and then have the nerve to tell me you don't love her like I do ;) 

Crystal - Not many bloggers know me and this absolute gem of a person share the same name :) (And to be clear, her actual name is not Crystal ;)) You know what, I generally don't hold affection for girls who share my name with me, but you and this other friend of mine are my beautiful exceptions. And about your blog, all I wonder now is why didn't I spot you earlier ? Seriously Crys, where were you ? Lost and Found made me fall for you :* And do not change your blog's title, Pentagram is who you are, don't abandon it midway.

Shashank - This guy in the mirror had started reading my blog a couple of months ago. He was just another face in the crowd for me, until one day when I checked my mail and found out a certain shashank Sapre had taken the pain of reading my every post and commented what he truly felt. From a blogger's point of view, if a fellow bogger digs through your old posts, thats when you know you're doing it right :) His blog does not follow any guy conventions, he'll write about PMS and the fact that he'll miss his college with equal enthusiasm :) Go, pay him a visit.

Musings of a Troubled Mind - One of the very few people who actually take the pain of reading what you've written, comment a whole post in return and make you feel its all worthwhile :) My sad posts get me a cheerful happy mail from him and my faith in goodness is so restored :) I'd rather call you Musings of an Optimistic Mind :)

Deepthi - Yes, I'm very particular about that 'H' in your name. Your header is awesome. Stay with it for a little longer Deepthi :) You deserve this award, your blog is peaceful in its own respect. And women, you just can't argue with them. Your titles always take me by a happy breeze of freshness. Do. Not. Ever. Stop. Innovating :) Grab this award :)

Suvaiba - When I opened the Soul Sister link on Crystal's blog, I knew you'd be special. The fact that you understood my heart's ache for B so aptly and did not advice me to go and call her up makes you all the more lovable. You're one of the few who understood I can never get back to her. Lips soaked with venom speaks volumes for what wonders you can do with your pen :)

Aakriti - Writing is her world. More so, I'd say she can't go a couple of days without treating her readers :) The beautiful compositions of her Yarn of Words will take you by a surprise :) One of the many things I love about you is that you never comment if you haven't read what I've written. Some people do this and it set my blood boiling :D Your comments are the best :) And Aakriti, tell your dad I said he is totally handsome ;)

Sameera - Yours is the blog that I have been digging rigorously this week Sam (if I may call you that) and Silhouettes couldn't have gone better. You are an amazing writer and your 55Fiction series inspired me to start my own :) Your blog truly deserves this award, It gave me several blissful moments this week :)

Cricket Freak - Okay, back when I was in school, al I used to do was wander around without any sense and laugh with my best friend all day long :D and here you are, making a journal of the most important phase of being a teenager. I so love you for that :) Even I hate it when babies cry :D It just gets onto my last nerve left. Guess we have more in common than what we know :)

Isha Maniar - Hey there, my little chocolate hater ;) I was at my happiest when I found out there's this another living soul who hates chocolate as much as I do :) Your short, crisp, absolutely from the-bottom-of-your-heart posts, make me love your blog :)

PeeVee - How can I possibly imagine blogger without you Priyanka ? You are an amazingly happy soul, you make me want to write and the way you made these recent characters of your latest fiction make love before parting ways, I love you even more :) That picture of you and Nandu is super-cute and no, the camera doesn't hate you :)

Hazel - Pablo's angel is as beautiful as her blog :) She writes about teeny-weeny little things that happen to her and you love her more with each passing day. Her list of ambitions in life will force you to make one of your own. You'll love her for how simple and honest she is :)

Red Handed - Need I introduce this mysterious young woman to you all ? :D Your blog makes me think why doesn't all this funny stuff happen to me ;) Your wit and your sarcasm is a unique form of bliss Red :) And yes, the mystery adds to the fun.

Lady Fiona - A true princess with a pen of gold. Soul mother to my favorite blogger, You write with all your clear conscience and Masquerade was your best post for me :) Behind that deceitful disguise remains to be my favorite phrase since the day I read it. You're gifted Fiona, truly gifted and you look so beautiful in that profile picture of yours :) Stay the same.

Anuranjani - First things first Anu (Yes, that's what I'm calling you :)), you are a notable newbie :) Yes, that's awesome. Your comments and that pretty mail of yours made me feel loved and I want to make the feeling mutual by telling you that you are a great writer sweetheart. I shall be a regular reader from now on.

Alcina - Okay, so to be honest, I haven't read enough of her work, but she was so graciously nice when she wrote those beautiful words of praise for me on her 100th post. that was my moment of Bliss Alcina. I'm starting to stalk you now.

Chintan - Okay, first things first, Sourabh is one hell of a lucky guy (Did I remember his name correctly ? :D), And you intimidate me because I have writer's block almost everyday and here you come up with this-one-awesome-than-the-previous-one posts everyday. I like it that you're so blunt and your blog name couldn't be more apt :)

Blahblaholic - And here comes my beautiful N. fellow-blogger-cum-sister. I know this brought a smile on your pretty face, and now you're nodded with those curly tresses in approval :), She makes people meet in boring parties and then they walk home hand in hand very much in sweet love :) And to top the awesomeness level, she even writes poetry. Grab the award N :)

Mohammad Israr - Considering his amusing blog, you'd never know he is somebody with a solid sciense research background. His write-ups and his modern day take on old age stories can really give you quite a complex. And I shouldn't fail to mention, Israr's comments can make your day :)

Diana - A fragile clay jar with a treasure inside. Isn't that just too beautiful a name for a blog Diana ;) Your comments make me happy and don't ever stop writing :)

Normal.Is.Overrated - Just the perfect mixture of strength and independence. She'll write about how people shouldn't wear masks, be the real them, and you'll feel the chill too :)

The other side of me - When I read her first ever fiction love story, I knew Tosm was one of my kind. And Tosm, one thing you didn't know is that we both have a thing for dimples. They're so cute. I seriously wish to marry a guy with dimples someday. And I know deep down you wish the same girl :) Grab the award :)

Ananya - Chicolate. Isn't that just too innovative ? Visit this angel's blog only with some forewarning, specially if you're a girl, her posts will make you drool over your computer screen. Her posts about Cinderella's stupid act of leaving her shoe behind made me running to the shoe store and secure another pair for myself. Yes, those posts have that magic ;)

The blue Periwinkle - I don't have words to describe the awesome pictures this another friend from aamchi-mumbai clicks. Go and see for yourself :)

SukuPedia - You became special the moment you became my 200th reader Sunita :) People, visit her blog asap, because she has promised a lot of love this November. Grab your share from it and spread it :)

Uff, that is writing something. Place this award on your blog and let people know you dwell in a blissful place.

I'm sorry if I've left anybody who feels they should be on this list. I'll have another one coming up soon.

Have a Happy day :)

Irrevocable Words [55Fiction #1]

Though every syllable felt like a lie, he knew he had to come clean. She knew too. It was now or never. The words finally stung her, loud and clear, 'We should be friends now'.
A warm tear trickled down and she thought ,Everytime you walk away, you take a piece of me with you.

Best Friends Are NOT Forever

That one friend you loved the most, that one friend you shared your most dirty secrets and fantasies with, that one friend who ripped you apart like a heartless butcher, that one friend will always matter the most.

I clicked on the'New Post' button as soon as I logged in today thinking I'd just write about it and get it over with. But here I am, staring at the blank screen from the past 3 minutes wondering why do I even want to write about her. She broke me, she made me cry my eyes out, reached heights of misunderstanding me and still, there is that little corner of my heart that wishes her the best of all worlds.

She was my best friend for as long as I remember. We were joint-at -the-hip twins. I had more in common with her than I had with myself. People used to call us the alpha-beta couple. Perhaps because my name starts with an 'A' and hers with a 'B'. And we always took pride in it's lameness :D, because we thought they both can't exist without each other. Well, apparently they can. I've spent the most beautiful years of my teen age with her. Technically, she was my better half. We've played, yes played, laughed, cried, and even had pimples together. More so, we even started PMSing in the same time frame. I promised her that I'd be that crazy aunt who'll spoil her kids. We literally took an oath that we'd tell each other everything about our first nights. No, that isn't cheesy, that was two little 17 years old giggling and promising to be bffs forever.

Laughing like maniacs over something as petite as a tongue slip was routine. I haven't laughed like that since the day we've stopped talking. I miss that. I want my stomach to hurt when I laugh. It just doesn't happen now. I wish we'd never played the 'You've changed, a lot' game. We both lost. Each other. I don't miss her, I don't want her back, but my mind and heart refuse to shut down her memories. We've broken up hundreds of times, called each other names, but it never got this nasty. It has almost been an year since I've seen her now.

She left a void. I have many beautiful people in my life right now. Everything is stable and lovely. But the void still exists. They love me, I love them. They care. I care. It still doesn't feel the same. I know it never will. This void has crept beneath my skin. Looks like you're only allotted a certain amount of tears per person and I've used up mine. Her absence doesn't make my eyes moist now. It feels like autumn. Dry autumn.

I love you B, I always do, even while I hate you.